Random thoughts and musings

I woke up this morning to the lovely sound of sleet pattering against the house--oh how relaxing. My first thought was to check the TV to make sure there would be school today. Alas, poor Mathew had to go, Brandon did not cancel classes today. At one point I was watching the names scroll across the bottom of the screen and then for some strange reason the network dropped the main picture down and covered the info bar at the bottom. Of course this was just as the list was hitting the "b" schools and "br" was about to appear GAAAH!!! Thankfully there are two other stations that run the cancellation lists. I'm just glad I don't live in the Aberdeen area, they got nailed.(6" and counting) Anyway I got Matthew off to school and Andrew woke up. OK it was because I was trying to move him out of my bed where he had been since about 3 this morning and into his own bed but that is besides the point. He was kind enough to stay in his room for about a half hour before wanting my attention again. Being the good mother I am I picked him up and took him downstairs for some quality TV time--Disney Channel. Yep, I'm that mom. Toddler distracted and pre-schooler still asleep. I headed back to my room to finish this really great dream that I now can't seem to remember what it was about. Some mornings I'm lucky and I get to "sleep in" an extra hour after getting Matthew up and out the door by 7:30. Other mornings are not so good and I either have wide awake kids that are wanting my attention, it's Wednesday and Andrew's speech therapist arrives at 9 and I want to make sure the living room is picked up, I have morning err1ands and or phone calls that need to be made or I have MOPS and need to get ready. There is always something going on around here and it seems that on those days when I do decide to choose the sleep option over the shower option I never get around to finding time for the shower. I can try, but the kids have this amazing ability to know exactly when I shut my bathroom door and then they are right outside wanting me for something or they are using the bed as a trampoline. Andrew is still prone to suffer abandonment issues and if I do shut the door on him then he will spend however long I'm in the bathroom carrying on as if I had dropped him off on the street corner and left him to fend for himself. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I was not raised Catholic so some of what Catholics do on this day are still a little unfamiliar to me but I try and do my best. Hubby has been out of town these past few days so the going to Mass option was not gonna happen. I'm not about to take all three kids by myself and do an hour long service. I'm sure God will forgive me someday. One thing I was supposed to do was fast. After asking a few questions I learned that no, I don't have to go all day sans food but I should try to eat as little as possible and of course no tasty treats. This I could do (I hoped). I didn't do too bad. This was also a meatless day so I had to make sure no ham or turkey sandwich. Sounds funny but in years past I have forgotten and eaten a simple sandwich only to realize too late what it was I was trying to avoid. I managed to make it all three meals without snacking or eating something pastry. By supper I was beyond starving so I ate more than I should have. I did not go over my Weight Watchers points but I did give myself a tummy ache. Lent is also the season where one gives up something desirable or pleasurable. This year I was really at a loss as to what to give up. Since I started Weight Watchers I have changed my eating patterns so many of the things that I normally consider for Lent aren't really good options. Coke and Donuts are very high in points so I seldom eat them and same goes for Chocolate. I could forgo them but since I already make the conscious decision to avoid eating them then what is the point? I don't really swear, the kids are very good at asking me the meaning of what I say so if a four letter word does come out of my mouth then I'm already held accountable. It finally came to me yesterday as I was working my hardest to avoid meat and pastry. At one point I was cleaning up the table and there was a small piece of donut Carolyn left. I absentmindedly put it in my mouth and then realized what I had done so I spit it out and then rinsed my mouth out. My desire to not eat anything sweet in honor of Ash Wednesday led me to consider having "sweetless" Wednesdays along with my meat free Fridays. My goal is to go each Wednesday without eating or drinking anything that is either sweetened or sweet. That means no candy, cookies, baked goods as well as juice or chocolate milk. I will not eat sugared cereal, put sugar or honey on or in anything, and no flavored yogurt. Fresh fruit is a grey area since it is nutritious and recommended for a healthy diet but I will avoid eating it as much as possible. I can find other things to eat instead of an apple or orange or banana for a snack. I'm only doing one day a week but I think I can make this work and be meaningful at the same time. Reflecting on the meaning of Lent led me to consider my thoughts and actions concerning people. The other day I was looking for high school classmates on Facebook and came across a site dedicated to those who graduated in 1990. I clicked on and scrolled through. I was amazing to see some of the photos. Some people opted to put a random picture up, some had a photo of a child or pet, but many had a current picture of themself. I know time passes and people get older and no one looks like they did at 18 but for some reason my high school memories of people are frozen in the way we were and not how we look now. Photo after photo showed receding hairlines, facial hair, spouses, children, and strange last names. I'm glad I was alone while doing this because my "oh my gosh, he's bald" or "wow she's aged badly" comments would be hard to explain to a curious child. Memories came flooding back to me as I went from person to person. My mind was going "was I friends with him or her?" "Would they still remember me?" Facebook gives you the option of making a friend request and that got me to thinking "would I want to be friends with them?" "If I make the request, will they want to be friends with me?" Flash back 20 years and it's the same thing only in person and not out in cyberspace--wow some things never do change. As I was going down memory lane it shocked me at how some of my feelings towards certain people stayed the same after all these years. Some photos brought back happy memories and others not so fond thoughts. At my lowest point I was thinking that the only reason I would add this particular classmate to my list was so I could send him/her hate mail (yeah petty and cheap I know). In the end I only made one friend request and that was to someone that I actually have contact with on a semi-regular basis. I am planning on going to my 20 year next summer--if they have one--and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with old friends and classmates. I know that time passes and people change so even though I'm still prone to unkind thoughts and distorted memories I hold out hope that I can move past them and look at the person they are now and move forward.