What a difference 3 years makes

This morning I sat in yet another Matthew meeting. Over the years I have gotten quite used to sitting through Matthew meetings. Some are casual and some are more formal and I've lost count of how many I have sat through in the past 5 years but it has been a lot.

The thing about being in the special education part of the system is that the school is required by law to meet and update whatever educational plan the student is on. These meetings occur every year. When a student is transitioning from one grade to another then a meeting is needed to discuss the next years goals and fill the new teacher in on the educational plan (IEP). This is in addition to the quarterly conferences with the teachers. This usually averages out to two major meetings and two conferences per school year barring any additional testing or screenings done by the district. If any testing is done by the school district then of course a meeting is set up to discuss the results and decide what action(s) to take or not to take. The district is also required to re-evaluate a student every three years to record progress made and re-evaluate the programs and services used by the student to see if they are still needed or if new accommodations need to be made.

This year marked the 3 year anniversary of Matthew's Autism testing so this past month he was re-tested and re-evaluated. He was given many of the same tests he was back when he was 3, the main difference is that the tests used this time around were for elementary age instead of preschool. I was given the forms to fill out as was Matthew's teacher and he was pulled out of class by the PT, OT, Speech teacher, Autism consultant, Special Ed. teacher, School Psychologist, and his Adaptive PE teacher for the various tests and evaluations. It was a very thorough process. After the scores were tallied up and the many reports were written, I was given copies of everything and the various professionals explained to me during the meeting what all the numbers meant.

Flashback 3 years and I was sitting in a chair staring at the pages in front of me numb with disbelief at just how delayed and behind Matthew was in comparison to other children his age. I had sat through a similar meeting the school year before when Matthew transitioned from Birth to 3 into the Early Childhood program and got a sneak peek at how far behind Matthew was but that was just using one evaluation scale, not the multiple tests that are used in the more formal Autism evaluation. Every person in the room, while kind, could only tell me how far behind in this category or that category Matthew fell in relation to others his age and that he would qualify for this or that service. I still remember the heart piercing moment when I was told that yes, Matthew met the criteria for the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. It was and still remains my most awful meeting ever. I left the building practically in tears and convinced my child was never going to be "normal" again.

Well a lot has changed in the three years since that meeting. Having a diagnosis of Autism, while painful, actually helped Matthew. I know it sounds strange but it is true. Before we referred Matthew for services, we assumed his behavior was that of a normal child. Once we started getting services for his speech and language (through Birth to 3), we entered the school system. I had no idea that school districts were responsible for educating a child once he or she turns 3 if there is a qualifying test score to indicate he or she has some sort of disability. It was the preschool teacher who was the one to point out that there was something more serious than just developmental delays and she was the one to ask if the school could do the Autism evaluation. After the diagnosis, Matthew qualified for ABA therapy which is considered the gold standard of therapies. I will give Brandon Valley credit, because the Autism Consultant they have is absolutely wonderful and has been a huge resource for me both in support and in advice. She also has an awesome working relationship with all of Matthew's teachers and therapists so everyone is on the same page. I may groan at all the meetings I have to attend but they do serve a purpose and I am kept aware of Matthew's progress and given every opportunity to offer my input and feedback. Over the years, this kid has had a lot of various goals to meet.

I'm not lying when I say some of those earlier meetings and parent-teacher conferences were about as pleasant to attend as a funeral and many times I left feeling overwhelmed at all the goals to be met, there were so many things that needed to be worked on. I had reports from the teacher and the OT, and PT, speech and Autism consultant. Thankfully, Matthew was not impaired academically and he also has a willingness to please so he was able to make progress on most of the areas he was delayed in. Once again, thanks to the ASD diagnosis, Matthew was able to get the help and support to learn those things in a supportive and caring educational environment. We also looked outside the school system and paid for (out of pocket) extra ABA therapy that was done at home. Due to the expense, we only did 4-6 hours per week but that extra really really helped. Matthew had reached a point where his preschool teacher was doubtful he could be mainstreamed due to his behaviors and the extra therapy along with medication made a HUGE difference and he was able to transition to regular Kindergarten with a shared aid to help him. The meetings also kept getting better for me too. Last year was the first time I went to a conference and did not have a laundry list of things needing to be worked on. The IEP meeting and transition to 1st grade meetings also went well and the laundry list of goals kept getting shorter and shorter.

Because of the three year timeline, the school retested him this past month. Of course Mother Nature was oh so helpful and due to all the snow days the poor kid was yanked out of class on a regular basis by all sorts of teachers and therapists who were desperate to get things done by the deadline. They did tell me in the meeting that Matthew handled all the pull-outs quite well. He was mentioning to me these past few weeks that he had to take a lot of tests...poor kid.

The meeting itself was a long one, almost 90 minutes but that was to be expected since Matthew has a lot of people on his IEP. The Psychologist did most of the talking for the first part of the meeting. He translated the test scores from numbers to English. Most of it was the Autism testing and IQ testing along with various specific area tests. What showed up was that Matthew for the most part is either average or above average in intelligence, Reading skills, and Math skills. He is still impaired in the social skill area but not as much as he was three years ago. I actually scored him higher on the Autism scales than his classroom teacher did. Of course she only sees him in the classroom setting which is very structured and I see him at home and out in public which is much more unstructured. He also scored well in his Adaptive PE, and PT tests. He had met all those goals last school year but both the PT and the teacher wanted to keep him this year and fine tune a few things. Matthew now does not qualify for those services. Much to my surprise, he also performed well enough on the OT tests that he does not need her either. His handwriting is still poor and his pencil grip is horrendous but both are workable and fixable. His speech teacher is very pleased with Matthew's progress and really enjoys working with him. She told the group that Matthew has been the most favorite student she has worked with so far (warm fuzzy feeling here). He will still need the speech and the Autism consultant for the ABA stuff but she now just pops into class to check on hm as opposed to pulling him out 45 minutes per week for therapy. Matthew also doesn't need to have speech this summer so he is now not needing the extended school year services.

When the meeting finally got over, I was both happy and relieved. I am truly amazed at how far Mathew has come in just a few short years. Three years ago Matthew could barely say his name and threw monster tantrums lasting anywhere from 20-45 minutes and requiring some sort of physical intervention. He was delayed in almost every area and required lots and lots of supervision and support. Today, he can sit in class by himself and work independently. He still gets mad and out of sorts but it only takes a few minutes an a few re-directs to get him back on task. He received high grades on his report card and is in the highest level of reading for his grade. He also got high remarks from all the staff on his wonderful attitude and willingness to work hard. I"m a bit biased but I do agree that he really does have a sweet disposition. Unlike the meeting three years ago when I walked out feeling hopeless and lost, I happily walked out of this one and cheerfully made my way home to share the information with the loving husband.

Yeah Matthew!!!