20 years ago

The year is 1989 and I'm a junior in High School working at Hardee's in the Rushmore Mall. I took this job to make money for a band trip and also to save up for college. I enjoy my job and for the most part all the people I have to work with. Sometime during either the winter or spring Hardee's hires this new employee named James. He's a college student at School of Mines and Technology and has worked for Hardee's before in his hometown of Yankton. He's hard working and knows his stuff. He is also funny and fun to be around. I really enjoy working shifts with this guy. Of course I'm a very busy person with my classes, band activities, friends, and the on again/off again boyfriend from the other side of town so no romantic workplace thoughts are going on.

Fast forward to my senior year. I have broken up with the boyfriend and am enjoying the single life. I'm excited to be done with school and am trying to decide which college I want to attend. I've got a great group of friends so when I'm not working, I'm doing slumber parties or Perkins with them. James, the college student, works nights and weekends due to his class schedule so we often work at the same time. He has also been promoted to management so on nights when I am scheduled to close, he is usually the closing manager.

It is also during this time I start talking to James more and more. He is an incredible listener and so much more mature than any of the guys I know in school. When the weather is nice, I follow him after work back to his apartment at the fraternity house he is living at and we go for a walk around the neighborhood. The more time I spend with James, the more I start to really like him. For the record, the area he lived in while a little run down was much safer than any neighborhoods near the mall so it was worth the drive. On those nights we didn't walk, we just sat in his room talking. Really, that's all we did, it was a frat house and there were always curious people wanting to stop by to say hi. That's why we did the walks.

As time passed, we began to spend more and more time together. We both really liked spending time with each other and just hanging out. We began to find more and more ways to see each other. Sometimes it was the walks, other times it was going with a bunch of his friends to a movie. It really felt like we were dating....except we weren't officially a couple.

Valentines Day 1990. I get a rose from James along with a very nice poem. I'm touched that he went out of his way to get me something (yes, I hate the holiday but I didn't want to spoil his moment). We have reached a point where the relationship is on the verge of getting serious. The only problem is, neither of us is willing to make the first step.

February 16, 1990. I'm sicker than a dog, my body is aching all over and my head wants to explode. If it wasn't for the band competition that day I would have stayed home in bed. The night before James and I had gotten into a disagreement about our relationship and what exactly we were to each other. Nothing major, but no resolution. I decide to go over and see James during one of the breaks we have in this competition. He lives near the school so it isn't too far away. Before I leave, I tell my best friends that at the end of the day I'm either going to have a boyfriend or we're going to break it off.

I head on over to the apartment and find James there. We continue our discussion from the night before. We both want the same thing, to be a couple, but I being young and naive, want him to actually ASK me to be his girlfriend and he being a male and older, assumes that because we are exclusive to each other that means we are a couple and there is no need to ask. After much discussion. I convince him to ask me formally to be his girlfriend and we hug each other and I leave very happy. I go back and tell all my friends that I officially have a boyfriend.

I'm on cloud nine and want to tell the whole world but other than my friends, the relationship needs to be kept a secret. Why?? Well first there is the age difference. James is 21, a college student, and lives in a fraternity house off campus. I'm 17, still in high school, and live at home with my parents. Something tells me they would not be as delighted with this news as I am. The other reason has to do with work. Even though it's before any laws have been passed, it is well known that management can not date employees that are not management. Managers can date managers and employees can date employees but that's about it. If there is a dating relationship present, then the couple is usually given shifts at different times so there is very little togetherness during working hours. Our relationship is suspicious but we have both denied dating each other so unless one of us confesses, our secret is safe. As a funny side note: just about every mall employee who knows us knows we are a couple. I guess it's just all that hanging out with each other we do in our off hours at the mall that gives it away. Even funnier is the fact they all assume Hardee's knows.

So have you guessed the reason for this post yet? Yep that's right, the James I was writing about is none other than the loving husband. Twenty years ago today we started dating. My parents officially found out about us a few days after my 18th birthday. I broke my foot and James came over and visited me every day. I'm pretty sure they already knew about him before but I'm so glad they never said anything to me about it. As for work....well it wasn't until after I left for college that I let things slip about the relationship. As expected, management went nuts over it. My manager was royally ticked off and the assistant manager took it personally that we never told her we were dating. We had denied the relationship before we "officially" started dating so there was no lying on our part. I came back to work over my Christmas vacation but as expected, I didn't get much work time with James and of course no closes together.

I still can't believe 20 yeas have passed since that day. A lot has changed since then. I am now married to my fellow employee and we have 3 adorable children. My parents like James and think he is a great husband and father. The mall store closed a few years back and I'm not sure what is in it's place. Over the years I have lost contact with the manager and assistant manager who worked with us but I'm sure they read our engagement and marriage announcements in the local paper.

One thing still hasn't changed in all those years and that is the feelings I have towards James. Ok, maybe they have changed a little but it's only because I keep on loving him more and more each day that passes. Happy 20 year dating anniversary sweetie-pie. I still love you and always will.