It is a brisk Autumn day somewhere on the West Coast. Three generations of family and dozens of friends have gathered to pay their final respects. A bugler plays "Taps" as the old solder is laid to rest. It's taken 60 years but now he's finally able to join the buddies he left behind on the beaches of Normandy.
It is a rainy winter day in the Southwest. A father reads the latest e-mail from his daughter. In his mind she will always be his little princess, forever 6 years old with pigtails and a pretty pink dress. However, daddy's little girl is all grown up and serving on a ship somewhere in the ocean. He looks up at all the photos on the wall, sighs, and says a prayer for her safety.
In a VA hospital somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, the old man looks at the young nursing assistant and tells her she reminds him of the girl he met while on a 3 day pass in Seoul. His eyes glaze over and and his mind wanders back to that day oh so long ago. As he starts to tell his tale, one of the nurses comes in and tells the confused young women not to be alarmed, he does this all the time.
It is a warm summer night in the Midwest and the campfire is crackling. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend. The last 15 months of deployment have been hell. Through the weeks and months what kept him going was the promise he made to his boys that when he came home they'd load up the camper, pack the fishing gear, and head out in search of the one that got away. He looks over at the kids, sticky from making s'mores, squeezes his wife's hand, and smiles.
It's a beautiful Indian Summer day in Washington DC. A group of men gather at one section of the Vietnam Wall. They do this every few years. Now of course they are more likely to be carrying AARP cards than the draft cards they once had. They laugh and joke, and show off the latest photos of the grandkids. As they read the names, the memories and stories start to come back. For a few hours, they are together again.
Farther down The Wall stands a mother. Her hair has turned from soft brown to snow white. She comes here year after year, always to this same spot. She traces her son's name with her fingers and the tears fall down her cheeks. She wants only to bring him home so he can be closer to her but she can't. Three little letters next to his name tells her that her boy has yet to be found.
It is a muggy spring day in the South. The little boy hops out of the van clutching the bouquet of brightly colored balloons. He is so excited, he gets to eat ice cream later today and play with his cousins at Grandma's house. His little 3 year old legs start running. His mother calls to him and tells him to wait for her. She is carrying his little sister with one arm and a bouquet of flowers in the other. The little boy stops and waits. They slowly make their way across the decorated rows until they reach the spot they are looking for. The mother sets her daughter down on a blanket and then helps her older child put the balloons next to the headstone and arranges the flowers in the vase. She feels something tug at her leg and looks down to see the girl has crawled over to her. She sits down on the ground and pulls the girl onto her lap. Her son sits next to her. The little girl points to the headstone and says "da da?"
"Yes, replies her mother, "that's daddy"
In the truest sense, freedom can not be bestowed, it must be achieved.
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
* I hope you enjoyed my Memorial Day tribute to those who have served our country or are currently serving. The people and places written about in this post are a work of fiction.*
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Old McDonald had a......
We all know the song. In fact I'll bet you are singing it right now. Yes, that wonderful song about a farmer and his very noisy animals is a classic that is taught and sung to millions of children all over the world. My own kids love it and I've sung it more times than I really care to admit.
It is because I am always singing this song I decided to have some fun with it and thus the alternate versions of Old McDonald were born. Just this morning Carolyn and Andrew were laughing at me while I was doing my best "American Idol" version of Old McDonald. Of course he was not on his farm. I haven't decided if Mr. McDonald is a very busy businessman who likes to acquire new real estate or if he has a lot of cousins he likes to visit. Anyway, I thought I'd share with you a few versions I and the kids have come up with. At the very least it will save you from always having to bark and moo.
Version #1 Classic setting of the farm...use animals like geese, mice, goats, and llamas. Really, what does a llama sound like?
Version #2 My personal favorite, the convenience store. Items I have used include gum (chew chew here), soda pop (burp burp there), potato chips (crunch crunch here), soap (slip slidey there), toilet paper or Kleenex (wipe wipe here)...you get the idea. The kids love coming up with things to try and then having to make up a sound or action to go with it.
Version #3 The zoo. I have to give Carolyn credit for coming up with this setting but it really works. This is also a great version for incorporating both sounds and actions. The monkeys jump around and make sounds, the gorillas beat their chests, the lions roar, and the elephants move their trunks.
Version #4 The ocean. This one can get pretty difficult but it does work. Whales go squirt, fish go swish, sharks go chomp, and mermaids sing la la la. I challenge you to make seal sounds and not laugh.
Version #5 Geographical settings. This is very similar to the zoo except you pick one area like jungle or swamp and only use those animals.
Ok, there you have it. New twists on an old favorite. The fun part about this is once you start with a verse, the kids will either laugh at you or follow along and try to make up the next line. By the end of the song everyone will be laughing and singing.
Now if you'll excuse me. I've got to go listen to the radio. I've got that Old McDonald song stuck in my head.
It is because I am always singing this song I decided to have some fun with it and thus the alternate versions of Old McDonald were born. Just this morning Carolyn and Andrew were laughing at me while I was doing my best "American Idol" version of Old McDonald. Of course he was not on his farm. I haven't decided if Mr. McDonald is a very busy businessman who likes to acquire new real estate or if he has a lot of cousins he likes to visit. Anyway, I thought I'd share with you a few versions I and the kids have come up with. At the very least it will save you from always having to bark and moo.
Version #1 Classic setting of the farm...use animals like geese, mice, goats, and llamas. Really, what does a llama sound like?
Version #2 My personal favorite, the convenience store. Items I have used include gum (chew chew here), soda pop (burp burp there), potato chips (crunch crunch here), soap (slip slidey there), toilet paper or Kleenex (wipe wipe here)...you get the idea. The kids love coming up with things to try and then having to make up a sound or action to go with it.
Version #3 The zoo. I have to give Carolyn credit for coming up with this setting but it really works. This is also a great version for incorporating both sounds and actions. The monkeys jump around and make sounds, the gorillas beat their chests, the lions roar, and the elephants move their trunks.
Version #4 The ocean. This one can get pretty difficult but it does work. Whales go squirt, fish go swish, sharks go chomp, and mermaids sing la la la. I challenge you to make seal sounds and not laugh.
Version #5 Geographical settings. This is very similar to the zoo except you pick one area like jungle or swamp and only use those animals.
Ok, there you have it. New twists on an old favorite. The fun part about this is once you start with a verse, the kids will either laugh at you or follow along and try to make up the next line. By the end of the song everyone will be laughing and singing.
Now if you'll excuse me. I've got to go listen to the radio. I've got that Old McDonald song stuck in my head.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Queso bean dip
According to the calender, it's supposed to be Spring. According to my front window...it's anything but warm and sunny. Anyway, we are now in the season of BBQ and open houses, wedding showers, and rehearsal dinners and any other excuse to throw a party.
Part of the fun of parties is the food. Yes, all the delicious and yummy food one can eat will be on hand at any given day, time, or place. Normally, I like to do some sort of dessert whenever I'm invited to a party. However, there are times when I know that there will already be a lot of sweets at the event. This is where I pull out the time trusted chips and dip. It's simple, it's practical, and just about everyone will eat it. Of course I could just go to the store and pick up a container of generic flavor dip and throw in a bag of boring chips but really, what fun would that be? I've decided to share one of my favorite dip recipes.
Most people like cheese dip of some sort and most people like Mexican-type dips. The very popular method of mixing processed cheese (Velveeta) with salsa produces a very yummy dip and of course you can also buy that type of dip in jars but in truth, you get very little nutrition for a lot of fat and calories. I happen to like bean dip but once again, if you buy it in the little cans it is loaded with fat and calories. My solution was to create my own bean/cheese dip.
This recipe is super simple and very user friendly. There is very little prep involved and takes about 15 minutes from start to finish to make.
Queso Bean Dip
1 16 oz can of fat-free refried beans (try not to use flavored)
1 16 oz jar of mild or medium salsa (can use home made)
4-8 oz of fat free or low fat sour cream
1 package of shredded cheese* (sharp cheddar or Mexican blend.)
1 bag of tortilla chips
In a large microwave safe bowl, combine the salsa and refried beans.
Add 4 oz of sour cream ( half a small container)
Add 1/2 cup shredded cheese
Place bowl in microwave and heat for 30 seconds on high.
Take bowl out and stir
Taste mixture--add more cheese and sour cream if a more cheesy or creamy taste is desired.
Place bowl back into microwave and heat for another 30 seconds on high.
Take bowl out and mix until you get a creamy texture. If not hot enough or smooth enough then microwave for another 30 seconds.
Serve with tortilla chips.
There you have it. A simple yummy dip that everyone will love. If you want a firmer, more taco-like version then microwave the beans and salsa together and then layer the sour cream and cheese and top it with black olives. You can also use shredded lettuce and ground beef taco meat but I find that is really messy.
One last suggestion from me is to make this dip and try it out before bringing it to your next gathering. I prefer a more salsa taste to my dip so I use less cheese and sour cream. Also, the more watery the salsa, the thinner the dip. *Do not use fat free cheese. The fat free versions are not very good at melting.
Part of the fun of parties is the food. Yes, all the delicious and yummy food one can eat will be on hand at any given day, time, or place. Normally, I like to do some sort of dessert whenever I'm invited to a party. However, there are times when I know that there will already be a lot of sweets at the event. This is where I pull out the time trusted chips and dip. It's simple, it's practical, and just about everyone will eat it. Of course I could just go to the store and pick up a container of generic flavor dip and throw in a bag of boring chips but really, what fun would that be? I've decided to share one of my favorite dip recipes.
Most people like cheese dip of some sort and most people like Mexican-type dips. The very popular method of mixing processed cheese (Velveeta) with salsa produces a very yummy dip and of course you can also buy that type of dip in jars but in truth, you get very little nutrition for a lot of fat and calories. I happen to like bean dip but once again, if you buy it in the little cans it is loaded with fat and calories. My solution was to create my own bean/cheese dip.
This recipe is super simple and very user friendly. There is very little prep involved and takes about 15 minutes from start to finish to make.
Queso Bean Dip
1 16 oz can of fat-free refried beans (try not to use flavored)
1 16 oz jar of mild or medium salsa (can use home made)
4-8 oz of fat free or low fat sour cream
1 package of shredded cheese* (sharp cheddar or Mexican blend.)
1 bag of tortilla chips
In a large microwave safe bowl, combine the salsa and refried beans.
Add 4 oz of sour cream ( half a small container)
Add 1/2 cup shredded cheese
Place bowl in microwave and heat for 30 seconds on high.
Take bowl out and stir
Taste mixture--add more cheese and sour cream if a more cheesy or creamy taste is desired.
Place bowl back into microwave and heat for another 30 seconds on high.
Take bowl out and mix until you get a creamy texture. If not hot enough or smooth enough then microwave for another 30 seconds.
Serve with tortilla chips.
There you have it. A simple yummy dip that everyone will love. If you want a firmer, more taco-like version then microwave the beans and salsa together and then layer the sour cream and cheese and top it with black olives. You can also use shredded lettuce and ground beef taco meat but I find that is really messy.
One last suggestion from me is to make this dip and try it out before bringing it to your next gathering. I prefer a more salsa taste to my dip so I use less cheese and sour cream. Also, the more watery the salsa, the thinner the dip. *Do not use fat free cheese. The fat free versions are not very good at melting.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Not so flexable benefits
We have a medical flexible spending account. For those who don't know what that is, it is an account we set up and put aside a certain amount of money each year to be used for medical expenses. It is an easy way to save for that rainy day. The money is used mostly for things like prescriptions and co-pays but can be used for medical items like OTC pain relievers and cough syrup.
Our insurance provider provides us a flex benefit program complete with card that can be scanned like a credit card at doctor's offices, pharmacies, and some retail locations. The advantage is that all you need to do is swipe and sign and you're good to go. No having to save credit card receipts or check statements and sending them in at the end of the year. The disadvantage is the plan provider is very specific on what charges it wants to accept.
Over the past few years, I've learned the hard way what happens when "Big Brother" gets a hold of my account info. Ninety percent of the time there is no problem with what I use the card for. It's the other ten percent that gets me all in a bother.
When a purchase is made that is not associated with a prescription or a doctor's office co-pay then it gets the attention of the good folks over at Big Brother Institute. They flag it as questionable and then send me a lovely letter informing me that I need to provide documentation of this expense to prove it is a legitimate purchase. Wait, I thought this was supposed to eliminate the need for keeping detailed receipts. I then have a certain amount of time to produce the receipt or other purchase info and send it to them so they can determine whether or not we spent our flex money correctly. Ummm, isn't this supposed to be our money we are spending? The receipts must have the date and description of item bought on it or it doesn't qualify. That means that the little credit card-like receipt they print out at time of purchase doesn't count unless there is some form of itemized receipt to go with it. An example would be a bottle of cough syrup bought at Wal-Mart. The Wal-Mart receipt that says "cough syrup" must be sent in. Once again, wasn't this supposed to eliminate my paperwork hassle?
Because I have been sent several of these "prove it" letters, I have taken to saving any receipt that I get from the doctor's office, pharmacy, or any other business that I use that card at. Sometimes I know there will be questions asked so I wait for the letter to arrive and send my receipt in and other times I get one of those "prove it" letters and go "What the????"
I got one of those letters recently. It contained about 9 different items that I needed to verify. Several of them were for the vision appointments and services we used in the past few months and one was for a dentist appointment charge. It was the last on that had me baffled.
It was a $101 charge from our local clinic. I looked at the date given and checked on the calender and it corresponded to a doctor appointment so I called the clinic to find out what the appointment was for. It was Andrew's 3 year check. I questioned why the high amount and the receptionist could not give me an answer. My first thought was that someone screwed up and charged me the appointment cost instead of the co-pay but that did not happen. I called the number for the flex benefits and they had no clue what this charge was for so I got sent to the insurance company. I asked the person my question and got the same answer so I was transferred to yet another department. Even though everyone was friendly, no one had a clue as to what this charge was for. The well check was a covered claim (except co-pay) and there would be no reason for the flex card to pay. Baffled, I decided to call the clinic business office to see if maybe they had made a mistake.
For some strange reason, the billing department is not located in the main clinic but I was given the correct phone number to call. When I called the billing department, the lady helping me was also baffled as to why I had this charge. I did find the original receipt form that visit (I save everything) and discovered a $69 charge added to the co-pay. Neither of us could figure out what it was for. Finally, after several minutes of digging around, the charges were found. She said that she would mail me the copy of the outstanding charges ( I still have no idea what they are) and I would get them in a few days. I thanked her and hung up.
So basically, I have a stack of paperwork that I have to organize and send in to my flexible benefit company to prove to them that I have been using my account for services and items that they deem medically necessary. I suppose I could have just found the receipt for the questioned doctor appointment and sent that in but I'm almost positive that I would have just gotten another "prove it" letter.
Tell me how this is supposed to simplify my life?
Our insurance provider provides us a flex benefit program complete with card that can be scanned like a credit card at doctor's offices, pharmacies, and some retail locations. The advantage is that all you need to do is swipe and sign and you're good to go. No having to save credit card receipts or check statements and sending them in at the end of the year. The disadvantage is the plan provider is very specific on what charges it wants to accept.
Over the past few years, I've learned the hard way what happens when "Big Brother" gets a hold of my account info. Ninety percent of the time there is no problem with what I use the card for. It's the other ten percent that gets me all in a bother.
When a purchase is made that is not associated with a prescription or a doctor's office co-pay then it gets the attention of the good folks over at Big Brother Institute. They flag it as questionable and then send me a lovely letter informing me that I need to provide documentation of this expense to prove it is a legitimate purchase. Wait, I thought this was supposed to eliminate the need for keeping detailed receipts. I then have a certain amount of time to produce the receipt or other purchase info and send it to them so they can determine whether or not we spent our flex money correctly. Ummm, isn't this supposed to be our money we are spending? The receipts must have the date and description of item bought on it or it doesn't qualify. That means that the little credit card-like receipt they print out at time of purchase doesn't count unless there is some form of itemized receipt to go with it. An example would be a bottle of cough syrup bought at Wal-Mart. The Wal-Mart receipt that says "cough syrup" must be sent in. Once again, wasn't this supposed to eliminate my paperwork hassle?
Because I have been sent several of these "prove it" letters, I have taken to saving any receipt that I get from the doctor's office, pharmacy, or any other business that I use that card at. Sometimes I know there will be questions asked so I wait for the letter to arrive and send my receipt in and other times I get one of those "prove it" letters and go "What the????"
I got one of those letters recently. It contained about 9 different items that I needed to verify. Several of them were for the vision appointments and services we used in the past few months and one was for a dentist appointment charge. It was the last on that had me baffled.
It was a $101 charge from our local clinic. I looked at the date given and checked on the calender and it corresponded to a doctor appointment so I called the clinic to find out what the appointment was for. It was Andrew's 3 year check. I questioned why the high amount and the receptionist could not give me an answer. My first thought was that someone screwed up and charged me the appointment cost instead of the co-pay but that did not happen. I called the number for the flex benefits and they had no clue what this charge was for so I got sent to the insurance company. I asked the person my question and got the same answer so I was transferred to yet another department. Even though everyone was friendly, no one had a clue as to what this charge was for. The well check was a covered claim (except co-pay) and there would be no reason for the flex card to pay. Baffled, I decided to call the clinic business office to see if maybe they had made a mistake.
For some strange reason, the billing department is not located in the main clinic but I was given the correct phone number to call. When I called the billing department, the lady helping me was also baffled as to why I had this charge. I did find the original receipt form that visit (I save everything) and discovered a $69 charge added to the co-pay. Neither of us could figure out what it was for. Finally, after several minutes of digging around, the charges were found. She said that she would mail me the copy of the outstanding charges ( I still have no idea what they are) and I would get them in a few days. I thanked her and hung up.
So basically, I have a stack of paperwork that I have to organize and send in to my flexible benefit company to prove to them that I have been using my account for services and items that they deem medically necessary. I suppose I could have just found the receipt for the questioned doctor appointment and sent that in but I'm almost positive that I would have just gotten another "prove it" letter.
Tell me how this is supposed to simplify my life?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Extreme diet makover
I'm now a few weeks into my extreme diet makeover. Ok, I'm exaggerating a bit on the extreme part but in reality this is a pretty radical way to change my eating habits. One of the first things I did was go through the pantry and evaluate the food I had.
For those who don't know a lot about gluten and what it is, here is a little lesson:
Gluten is the protein found in certain grains such as wheat, barley, rye and all of their close cousins. It is the sticky that holds things together in baked goods. It can be used in a variety of ways in a lot of products. It is everywhere.
Some of the items in my pantry were obvious offenders such as the cereal and whole grain pastas. Others were a bit tricky like the pre-packaged rice dishes and sauces. Sadly, I had gone shopping a few days before I found out about my new diet requirements so there were quite a few items that were recent purchases. If it was an unopened item that I could not have, it was taken off the shelf. If it was opened then I had to decide whether or not to keep it. The cereal and granola bars stayed since they would be eaten by the loving husband and children. The one positive that came out of this was the Brandon Food Pantry received a larger than usual donation of items. I also went through my canned items to see which ones had to go. I did not have as many of them.
My next task was to go out and buy items that were safe for me to eat. I'm pretty lucky that I only have an intolerance to gluten so if I eat an offending item, I'll suffer intestinal distress but no long-term permanent damage. If I had Celiac Disease then the tiny hairs in my small intestine would suffer damage every time I came in contact with gluten, even the tiniest amount.
One of the handouts I was given at the doctor's office contained a list of foods and terms indicating the presence of wheat and/or gluten. There were 54 items. Some were the usual suspects such as baked goods, cereal, flour, or bran. Other terms were more insidious such as corn bread, soy sauce, graham, and modified food starch. Seemingly innocent items such as soups, or salad dressing were suspect. Oatmeal was another trap. Oats themselves are gluten free but they are usually grown next to wheat fields and harvested using the same equipment and processed in the same facility as wheat so they are pretty contaminated with wheat and gluten. Items that contain oats are not recommended unless the oats are certified gluten free. In addition to the warning about oats, was the information about the use of wheat in spices and seasonings. Even chewing gum and candy can be a problem if wheat is used in the starch or wheat is used in the coating.
At first glance it might seem easy to spot a no no food. Many products are required to list any potential allergens so problem foods are highlighted in bold. If I had a wheat allergy then that would be easy but manufactures are not required to list gluten as one of the highlighted ingredients. I also have to look for the information to tell me if a product is manufactured on equipment that is used in a factory that processes wheat products. I now have the very unenviable task of reading every single food label and searching for ingredients that contain gluten. If I am in doubt then I should assume gluten and avoid the product. An example of items that at first glance look harmless but are on my no eat list are crispy rice cereal and the generic rice chex type cereals. The crispy rice cereal contains malt flavoring which is made from barley. The generic rice chex cereals are made on the same equipment that they use to make the other cereals so there is cross contamination. The name brand rice chex and corn chex is labeled gluten free so it is safe to eat. Soup is also another tricky one. Wheat gluten is used as a thickener for many of them. Many rice dishes have some sort of grain product added to them for extra fiber or flavor so I have to really read carefully. I have found some soy sauces and stir fry mixes that only use soy and not wheat but there are very few of them. Even the chocolate milk drink mix the kids use has wheat ingredients in it.
The good news is fruits and veggies are naturally gluten free so I can have as many of them as I want. Meat is also gluten free so my love affair with juicy steak is unaffected. Over the years I have either avoided or cut way back in eating breaded and/or fried foods so with a few exceptions I won't be missing out on much. However, Mc Donald's uses wheat flour in it's french fries and of course cooks them in the same grease vat as their other breaded stuff so I can no longer have them (sob).
One of the nice things abut living in a larger metro area is the access to stores that sell gluten free (GF) products. The grocery store I do my shopping at has a very nice GF section and they also have bright pink labels on those items that are gluten free. I was also able to schedule a shopping trip with the store dietitian to show me what products I can have and of those, which ones are worth the cost. Unfortunately, items that are specially made to be gluten free are very expensive. I'd also rather not pay $6 for a heat and eat meal that would normally go for $2 on sale if it wasn't GF so I'll just make my own. I haven't tried the frozen pizzas or made pizza crust yet but that is on my to do list. I did find some very wonderful (and horribly expensive) gluten free flour that I can use just like regular flour. I am able to make my favorite baked goods and they taste almost the same. At least I can save some money by not buying those $5 packages of cookies or cookie mixes.
I'm still trying to get used to doing things a new way and at times I get a little frustrated. I'll admit, it is really hard to have to give up certain favorite food items such as donuts or McDonald's french fries. I also have to be careful when I eat out at restaurants. I'm going to try my hardest to adapt to a gluten free lifestyle and still maintain a normal life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I just made a loaf of bread and I want to try it out to see if it is any good.
For those who don't know a lot about gluten and what it is, here is a little lesson:
Gluten is the protein found in certain grains such as wheat, barley, rye and all of their close cousins. It is the sticky that holds things together in baked goods. It can be used in a variety of ways in a lot of products. It is everywhere.
Some of the items in my pantry were obvious offenders such as the cereal and whole grain pastas. Others were a bit tricky like the pre-packaged rice dishes and sauces. Sadly, I had gone shopping a few days before I found out about my new diet requirements so there were quite a few items that were recent purchases. If it was an unopened item that I could not have, it was taken off the shelf. If it was opened then I had to decide whether or not to keep it. The cereal and granola bars stayed since they would be eaten by the loving husband and children. The one positive that came out of this was the Brandon Food Pantry received a larger than usual donation of items. I also went through my canned items to see which ones had to go. I did not have as many of them.
My next task was to go out and buy items that were safe for me to eat. I'm pretty lucky that I only have an intolerance to gluten so if I eat an offending item, I'll suffer intestinal distress but no long-term permanent damage. If I had Celiac Disease then the tiny hairs in my small intestine would suffer damage every time I came in contact with gluten, even the tiniest amount.
One of the handouts I was given at the doctor's office contained a list of foods and terms indicating the presence of wheat and/or gluten. There were 54 items. Some were the usual suspects such as baked goods, cereal, flour, or bran. Other terms were more insidious such as corn bread, soy sauce, graham, and modified food starch. Seemingly innocent items such as soups, or salad dressing were suspect. Oatmeal was another trap. Oats themselves are gluten free but they are usually grown next to wheat fields and harvested using the same equipment and processed in the same facility as wheat so they are pretty contaminated with wheat and gluten. Items that contain oats are not recommended unless the oats are certified gluten free. In addition to the warning about oats, was the information about the use of wheat in spices and seasonings. Even chewing gum and candy can be a problem if wheat is used in the starch or wheat is used in the coating.
At first glance it might seem easy to spot a no no food. Many products are required to list any potential allergens so problem foods are highlighted in bold. If I had a wheat allergy then that would be easy but manufactures are not required to list gluten as one of the highlighted ingredients. I also have to look for the information to tell me if a product is manufactured on equipment that is used in a factory that processes wheat products. I now have the very unenviable task of reading every single food label and searching for ingredients that contain gluten. If I am in doubt then I should assume gluten and avoid the product. An example of items that at first glance look harmless but are on my no eat list are crispy rice cereal and the generic rice chex type cereals. The crispy rice cereal contains malt flavoring which is made from barley. The generic rice chex cereals are made on the same equipment that they use to make the other cereals so there is cross contamination. The name brand rice chex and corn chex is labeled gluten free so it is safe to eat. Soup is also another tricky one. Wheat gluten is used as a thickener for many of them. Many rice dishes have some sort of grain product added to them for extra fiber or flavor so I have to really read carefully. I have found some soy sauces and stir fry mixes that only use soy and not wheat but there are very few of them. Even the chocolate milk drink mix the kids use has wheat ingredients in it.
The good news is fruits and veggies are naturally gluten free so I can have as many of them as I want. Meat is also gluten free so my love affair with juicy steak is unaffected. Over the years I have either avoided or cut way back in eating breaded and/or fried foods so with a few exceptions I won't be missing out on much. However, Mc Donald's uses wheat flour in it's french fries and of course cooks them in the same grease vat as their other breaded stuff so I can no longer have them (sob).
One of the nice things abut living in a larger metro area is the access to stores that sell gluten free (GF) products. The grocery store I do my shopping at has a very nice GF section and they also have bright pink labels on those items that are gluten free. I was also able to schedule a shopping trip with the store dietitian to show me what products I can have and of those, which ones are worth the cost. Unfortunately, items that are specially made to be gluten free are very expensive. I'd also rather not pay $6 for a heat and eat meal that would normally go for $2 on sale if it wasn't GF so I'll just make my own. I haven't tried the frozen pizzas or made pizza crust yet but that is on my to do list. I did find some very wonderful (and horribly expensive) gluten free flour that I can use just like regular flour. I am able to make my favorite baked goods and they taste almost the same. At least I can save some money by not buying those $5 packages of cookies or cookie mixes.
I'm still trying to get used to doing things a new way and at times I get a little frustrated. I'll admit, it is really hard to have to give up certain favorite food items such as donuts or McDonald's french fries. I also have to be careful when I eat out at restaurants. I'm going to try my hardest to adapt to a gluten free lifestyle and still maintain a normal life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I just made a loaf of bread and I want to try it out to see if it is any good.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
My day in court
Yesterday morning was my day to go back to court. I had made sure that all my bases were covered. I even wrote notes to the teachers informing them the kids were being dropped off at a different location. I was seriously paranoid about Transportation getting mixed up and one of the the kids getting dropped off to an empty house. There are a lot of kids and bus routes and more than once I've had to deal with a miscommunication.
I managed to get to the courthouse on time. There were quite a few people in the jury room but I expected that. At about 8:30, one of the bailiffs came down and announced that jury A was needed. Many of us got that panicked look because we had no idea if we were jury A. We were told that those who were in jury A already knew.
Shortly, after jury A left, we were informed that we were to watch a short film about the jury duty process. I felt like I was back in high school sitting in Social Studies class. The film was informative and explained who the people in the court were and how the selection process worked. I'm pretty sure the courtroom stuff was staged because the defense lawyer looked way too young to practice law. At least it was current and everyone was dressed in modern fashions and I didn't have to worry about cheesy music soundtracks.
After the film was over, we were told to use the restroom because it would be a while before we got the chance again. About 10 minutes later, we were called to go upstairs to the courtroom. When we got upstairs, the clerk called us by name and gave us a place in line to stand. We were divided up into rows with about 5 people per row. This was our seating order when we got into the court room. Once again I had that high school feeling.
Once in the courtroom, the selection process began. I don't remember the correct legal term for what we did or how to spell it but it was used throughout the day. Once again, the same people I saw the week before were in the room. The difference was that we were given introductions to all of them. There were 2 defense lawyers next to the defendant and that side also had a paralegal and law student observing. The prosecution had 2 lawyers. There was a court reporter in the corner. There were bailiffs in the other corner, a courtroom scheduling clerk, and the judge. I tried not to look at the court reporter. She was seated at a desk behind the diving wall of the courtroom so only the top of her from shoulder up was visible. As she typed, her whole body moved giving the impression that she had the shakes.
The defense attorney was the one to introduce himself and do the rest of the courtroom introductions. He thanked us and then spent time chatting with us about himself and the nature of what would happen during the day. He also told us that instead of asking general questions first, they would call individual people back and ask detailed personal questions. These were based on what the individual wrote on that last information form. We were not allowed to leave the courtroom while this was going on so we just sat and talked amongst ourselves.
Before we started the one on one questions, the judge did ask a few need to know questions. We were asked if we were residents of this particular county. Seems funny but Sioux Falls covers 2 different counties so every once in a while someone from town gets the wrong info. We also were asked if we were able to read and understand English. We were asked if we had any medical conditions that would prevent us from sitting more than 2 hours. We were also asked if we had any other concerns that we needed to address.
One of the potential jurors was having a total conniption fit over the whole selection process. She at first tried to use general excuses to get dismissed, and then tried to tell the judge that she just couldn't be here doing this. She was quite upset about spending her time here and was also very angry at the court for making her be there. I guess she had some sort of business that involved flower arraignments and some prom was this weekend and she needed to spend time working on that. I know this because she wouldn't stop whining about it to those who were sitting near her. I was seated one row in front of her and spent my time talking to the people in front of me. I'm pretty sure the majority of us who had to sit near her were ready to commit assault and slap the snot out of her. Um, newsflash honey...we ALL have better things to do with our day than sit here. We were only too happy when she finally got called into the back room and did not return.
The individual question part took about an hour or so. There were several individuals who were called back and never returned. I assume that they were dismissed based on what they answered. I also got a call back. I had written on my form that I had read about this case. The truth is I did back in 2008 when the incident happened. I could honestly answer (and I did) that I could not remember a thing about the case. I answered that I did form an opinion at that time but I truthfully could not remember what it was. I was asked if this would affect my opinion of this case and I answered that no if wouldn't. I got to return back to the courtroom for round 2.
After the first part was over, we were given a break. Most of us had been sitting around but of course the court reporter and courtroom staff had been busy so the break was for them. We got to go back down to the jury room and smokers got to go light one up.
When we returned, the next hour or so was spent with the defense attorney asking us a bunch of open-ended discussion questions. We were told that if picked, we would need to be present for 5-7days. We were asked if anyone had scheduling conflicts and could not be available. A few people were dismissed for that reason. One of the jurors asked about a fishing trip and was told, no, probably not. The defense attorney also read a list of names off. These were people who worked in the States Attorney's office, police officers associated with this case, possible witnesses, family members of the defendant, and any other person who might in some way be involved with this case. One of the names read was the first cousin of the loving husband. I raised my hand and indicated my relationship with this person. I was asked how much I communicated with her and if I had spoken of the nature of this case. I replied that I had not seen her in months and did not speak of this case to her. I was asked if my relationship with her would affect my judgement of this case and I said no. I was not dismissed.
Many of the questions that were asked of us were asked in a way to start a discussion. The officers of the court wanted our opinions on things and made a point of telling us repeatedly that we were to ask as many questions as we wanted to. There were quite a few questions asked several different ways. They wanted to know what we thought reasonable doubt was, if it would influence our opinion if the prosecution had more people testifying than the defense, what do we think of when we hear about an expert witness, does a police officer testifying have more weight just because he is a police officer. Trust me, there was a lot of strange questions and I learned way more about those around me than I really wanted to know.
As questions were being asked of us, I thought about them in terms of "can" and do I want to". We were asked if we could look at autopsy photos of a young child. Do I want to? no. Can I do it? yes. Do I want to be available for 5-7 days for this trial? No. Can I be? yes. Each time we were asked a question, I used this as my weed out process. I figured if I hit a no on the "can I do this", then I could truthfully bow out and ask to be dismissed. It really wasn't fair to the process if I just raised my hand and said I didn't want to do this. After all, who really wants to sit on this kind of trial?
We finally broke for lunch and were given about an hour and a half or so. Sadly, the closest restaurant was a nice Chinese place and I avoided it because I really didn't want to eat something that would disagree with me. We didn't get that many breaks and I didn't want to sit in court with an ill stomach. I probably should not have drank all that Coke though.
After lunch, we returned to the courtroom. The defense attorney started by asking the juror who had the fishing trip more about that trip. It seems that the trip was actually a tournament. The defense then decided to be nice to the guy and dismiss him from the trial. As he was in the process of asking for the dismissal, the judge interrupted him and stated "but the juror didn't ask to be dismissed" The look on that attorney's face was priceless. When asked if he wanted to be dismissed, the juror decided that if he was needed then he could do the trial. Later on, those of us in the jury pool teased him about his decision telling him he blew his chance.
The questions continued and after about an hour or so I was feeling the effects of my dinner soda. I really don't remember the last half hour as I was trying not think about wetting myself. I was very close to the point of asking if I could go to the restroom when a break was finally called. I all but ran out of the courtroom.
As the day continued, I started to get a little nervous. I hadn't been dismissed and maybe I was what they wanted in a juror. There was a lot of people around me participating in the discussion but I really didn't feel the need to add my opinions (shocking, I know). I was very aware of the fact that we were there to be judged and every thing we said or did mattered. My thought was to keep as quiet and under the radar as possible. If they didn't know a lot about me, other than what was on my question sheet, maybe they wouldn't want me. I was a little surprised at how easy it seemed they were on letting jurors go. Those that indicated that they could not form a fair opinion after one or more of the questions were dismissed. Some couldn't get past the victims age, some couldn't stand the sight of blood, and at least one was unable to see the defendant as anything other than guilty unless proven innocent.
I was also a little surprised at some of the questions that were asked by the jurors. Some of the questions that we asked could be answered but others could not be. When asked direct questions about the defendant, most of those answers were not given but there were a few questions concerning the welfare of that person. We were told that we could not take sentencing into consideration when deciding a verdict and we could not even ask what the penalty for the crime was. One juror even asked if this was a death penalty case. That question was not answered.
After yet another break, the prosecutor finally took the floor and asked his questions. They were very similar to the ones that had already been asked. By this time I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was going to have to sit on this trial. I was even starting to make those mental preparations with childcare and transportation. One of the last questions asked of us was whether of not we could find a person guilty even if the evidence proved it beyond reasonable doubt. I know it sounds kind of funny but I guess it does make sense. Sitting in judgement of a person is a very big responsibility and there are those who don't want that on their head. I had no reservations. If the evidence found the person guilty then I would vote guilty.
After what seemed like forever in the courtroom, the prosecutor turned to the judge and said that this panel passed. At that point we were dismissed and sent back down to the jury room to wait. There were about 15 or 16 of us left and we all knew that we were in the final round of cuts.
I went back downstairs and called the loving husband to tell him that I was still there and hoped to be done by 5. There was nothing more to do but wait. I was pretty sure they wouldn't want me but since I had spent the day there without getting dismissed I was pretty nervous. I started chatting with another one of the jurors who was also a mother. There were several of us left standing which was quite surprising. We both were of the same opinion....well I've invested all this time so far, I might as well get picked.
Finally, they called us back into the jury room to wait. The clerk came in and read one name. That person indicated who she was and was told that she was to stay. The clerk then told the rest of us that we were dismissed from this trial. We were to call in on Friday and resume that schedule. As we walked out of the room, we passed by the selected individual and expressed our condolences.
I'm really not sure what I feel at this point. Part of me is sorry I didn't get picked. It would have been interesting to actually be a juror on a major trial. The rest of me knows that I'm glad I was not selected. I really would not have wanted to go through such a trial. I don't know if I will sit on a jury any time this month and I don't know if I will have to go through another day like I spent yesterday but I am really glad it's over.
Now if only I could get the $63 I spent in daycare costs reimbursed back to me.
I managed to get to the courthouse on time. There were quite a few people in the jury room but I expected that. At about 8:30, one of the bailiffs came down and announced that jury A was needed. Many of us got that panicked look because we had no idea if we were jury A. We were told that those who were in jury A already knew.
Shortly, after jury A left, we were informed that we were to watch a short film about the jury duty process. I felt like I was back in high school sitting in Social Studies class. The film was informative and explained who the people in the court were and how the selection process worked. I'm pretty sure the courtroom stuff was staged because the defense lawyer looked way too young to practice law. At least it was current and everyone was dressed in modern fashions and I didn't have to worry about cheesy music soundtracks.
After the film was over, we were told to use the restroom because it would be a while before we got the chance again. About 10 minutes later, we were called to go upstairs to the courtroom. When we got upstairs, the clerk called us by name and gave us a place in line to stand. We were divided up into rows with about 5 people per row. This was our seating order when we got into the court room. Once again I had that high school feeling.
Once in the courtroom, the selection process began. I don't remember the correct legal term for what we did or how to spell it but it was used throughout the day. Once again, the same people I saw the week before were in the room. The difference was that we were given introductions to all of them. There were 2 defense lawyers next to the defendant and that side also had a paralegal and law student observing. The prosecution had 2 lawyers. There was a court reporter in the corner. There were bailiffs in the other corner, a courtroom scheduling clerk, and the judge. I tried not to look at the court reporter. She was seated at a desk behind the diving wall of the courtroom so only the top of her from shoulder up was visible. As she typed, her whole body moved giving the impression that she had the shakes.
The defense attorney was the one to introduce himself and do the rest of the courtroom introductions. He thanked us and then spent time chatting with us about himself and the nature of what would happen during the day. He also told us that instead of asking general questions first, they would call individual people back and ask detailed personal questions. These were based on what the individual wrote on that last information form. We were not allowed to leave the courtroom while this was going on so we just sat and talked amongst ourselves.
Before we started the one on one questions, the judge did ask a few need to know questions. We were asked if we were residents of this particular county. Seems funny but Sioux Falls covers 2 different counties so every once in a while someone from town gets the wrong info. We also were asked if we were able to read and understand English. We were asked if we had any medical conditions that would prevent us from sitting more than 2 hours. We were also asked if we had any other concerns that we needed to address.
One of the potential jurors was having a total conniption fit over the whole selection process. She at first tried to use general excuses to get dismissed, and then tried to tell the judge that she just couldn't be here doing this. She was quite upset about spending her time here and was also very angry at the court for making her be there. I guess she had some sort of business that involved flower arraignments and some prom was this weekend and she needed to spend time working on that. I know this because she wouldn't stop whining about it to those who were sitting near her. I was seated one row in front of her and spent my time talking to the people in front of me. I'm pretty sure the majority of us who had to sit near her were ready to commit assault and slap the snot out of her. Um, newsflash honey...we ALL have better things to do with our day than sit here. We were only too happy when she finally got called into the back room and did not return.
The individual question part took about an hour or so. There were several individuals who were called back and never returned. I assume that they were dismissed based on what they answered. I also got a call back. I had written on my form that I had read about this case. The truth is I did back in 2008 when the incident happened. I could honestly answer (and I did) that I could not remember a thing about the case. I answered that I did form an opinion at that time but I truthfully could not remember what it was. I was asked if this would affect my opinion of this case and I answered that no if wouldn't. I got to return back to the courtroom for round 2.
After the first part was over, we were given a break. Most of us had been sitting around but of course the court reporter and courtroom staff had been busy so the break was for them. We got to go back down to the jury room and smokers got to go light one up.
When we returned, the next hour or so was spent with the defense attorney asking us a bunch of open-ended discussion questions. We were told that if picked, we would need to be present for 5-7days. We were asked if anyone had scheduling conflicts and could not be available. A few people were dismissed for that reason. One of the jurors asked about a fishing trip and was told, no, probably not. The defense attorney also read a list of names off. These were people who worked in the States Attorney's office, police officers associated with this case, possible witnesses, family members of the defendant, and any other person who might in some way be involved with this case. One of the names read was the first cousin of the loving husband. I raised my hand and indicated my relationship with this person. I was asked how much I communicated with her and if I had spoken of the nature of this case. I replied that I had not seen her in months and did not speak of this case to her. I was asked if my relationship with her would affect my judgement of this case and I said no. I was not dismissed.
Many of the questions that were asked of us were asked in a way to start a discussion. The officers of the court wanted our opinions on things and made a point of telling us repeatedly that we were to ask as many questions as we wanted to. There were quite a few questions asked several different ways. They wanted to know what we thought reasonable doubt was, if it would influence our opinion if the prosecution had more people testifying than the defense, what do we think of when we hear about an expert witness, does a police officer testifying have more weight just because he is a police officer. Trust me, there was a lot of strange questions and I learned way more about those around me than I really wanted to know.
As questions were being asked of us, I thought about them in terms of "can" and do I want to". We were asked if we could look at autopsy photos of a young child. Do I want to? no. Can I do it? yes. Do I want to be available for 5-7 days for this trial? No. Can I be? yes. Each time we were asked a question, I used this as my weed out process. I figured if I hit a no on the "can I do this", then I could truthfully bow out and ask to be dismissed. It really wasn't fair to the process if I just raised my hand and said I didn't want to do this. After all, who really wants to sit on this kind of trial?
We finally broke for lunch and were given about an hour and a half or so. Sadly, the closest restaurant was a nice Chinese place and I avoided it because I really didn't want to eat something that would disagree with me. We didn't get that many breaks and I didn't want to sit in court with an ill stomach. I probably should not have drank all that Coke though.
After lunch, we returned to the courtroom. The defense attorney started by asking the juror who had the fishing trip more about that trip. It seems that the trip was actually a tournament. The defense then decided to be nice to the guy and dismiss him from the trial. As he was in the process of asking for the dismissal, the judge interrupted him and stated "but the juror didn't ask to be dismissed" The look on that attorney's face was priceless. When asked if he wanted to be dismissed, the juror decided that if he was needed then he could do the trial. Later on, those of us in the jury pool teased him about his decision telling him he blew his chance.
The questions continued and after about an hour or so I was feeling the effects of my dinner soda. I really don't remember the last half hour as I was trying not think about wetting myself. I was very close to the point of asking if I could go to the restroom when a break was finally called. I all but ran out of the courtroom.
As the day continued, I started to get a little nervous. I hadn't been dismissed and maybe I was what they wanted in a juror. There was a lot of people around me participating in the discussion but I really didn't feel the need to add my opinions (shocking, I know). I was very aware of the fact that we were there to be judged and every thing we said or did mattered. My thought was to keep as quiet and under the radar as possible. If they didn't know a lot about me, other than what was on my question sheet, maybe they wouldn't want me. I was a little surprised at how easy it seemed they were on letting jurors go. Those that indicated that they could not form a fair opinion after one or more of the questions were dismissed. Some couldn't get past the victims age, some couldn't stand the sight of blood, and at least one was unable to see the defendant as anything other than guilty unless proven innocent.
I was also a little surprised at some of the questions that were asked by the jurors. Some of the questions that we asked could be answered but others could not be. When asked direct questions about the defendant, most of those answers were not given but there were a few questions concerning the welfare of that person. We were told that we could not take sentencing into consideration when deciding a verdict and we could not even ask what the penalty for the crime was. One juror even asked if this was a death penalty case. That question was not answered.
After yet another break, the prosecutor finally took the floor and asked his questions. They were very similar to the ones that had already been asked. By this time I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was going to have to sit on this trial. I was even starting to make those mental preparations with childcare and transportation. One of the last questions asked of us was whether of not we could find a person guilty even if the evidence proved it beyond reasonable doubt. I know it sounds kind of funny but I guess it does make sense. Sitting in judgement of a person is a very big responsibility and there are those who don't want that on their head. I had no reservations. If the evidence found the person guilty then I would vote guilty.
After what seemed like forever in the courtroom, the prosecutor turned to the judge and said that this panel passed. At that point we were dismissed and sent back down to the jury room to wait. There were about 15 or 16 of us left and we all knew that we were in the final round of cuts.
I went back downstairs and called the loving husband to tell him that I was still there and hoped to be done by 5. There was nothing more to do but wait. I was pretty sure they wouldn't want me but since I had spent the day there without getting dismissed I was pretty nervous. I started chatting with another one of the jurors who was also a mother. There were several of us left standing which was quite surprising. We both were of the same opinion....well I've invested all this time so far, I might as well get picked.
Finally, they called us back into the jury room to wait. The clerk came in and read one name. That person indicated who she was and was told that she was to stay. The clerk then told the rest of us that we were dismissed from this trial. We were to call in on Friday and resume that schedule. As we walked out of the room, we passed by the selected individual and expressed our condolences.
I'm really not sure what I feel at this point. Part of me is sorry I didn't get picked. It would have been interesting to actually be a juror on a major trial. The rest of me knows that I'm glad I was not selected. I really would not have wanted to go through such a trial. I don't know if I will sit on a jury any time this month and I don't know if I will have to go through another day like I spent yesterday but I am really glad it's over.
Now if only I could get the $63 I spent in daycare costs reimbursed back to me.
What have I gotten myself into ?
A few weeks ago I received a letter in the mail from the Clerk of Courts concerning my upcoming jury service. The letter informed me that I had been selected to participate in a trial and that even though I was not scheduled to began my term I was needed to appear in court on the last day of March. I called the number and asked if I needed to arrange child care for the first few days of April and was told that this date had to do with the selection process so it was unknown if I needed to arrange anything for later in the week. All I knew was that I had to show up and it would take an hour of my time.
When I got to the courthouse I found my way to the jury check-in room. There were probably about 30 of us. We sat and waited until we were called. I was hoping that it would not take very long since I had not arraigned for any after school care for Matthew and Carolyn. My assumption was that some poor soul got stuck with an April 1 trial date and they wanted to get a jury seated but the March people were already done so they needed the April people to show up.
Soon the Clerk of Courts stepped in an informed us that we would be leaving shortly to go up to the courtroom. The judge had some instructions to give us. We were to return back to this room when we were done and fill out yet another information form. We were also given a sheet of paper instructing us to show up on Wednesday, April 7 at 8:15 am. We were told to expect to stay the morning and possible into the afternoon. She also said we did not have to call in on Friday since the sheet given to us was our next week's assignment. Soon afterwards we lined up and went upstairs to the court room.
I have never really been inside a courtroom. I've been in courthouses and when I worked at Eagle Village I had to transport kids to court hearings but I usually didn't sit through them. I was surprised at the number of people that were there. We were told to raise our right hands and then sworn in. After that the judge came down and introduced herself and explained to us what was expected of us.
I was sitting there wondering if this was in fact the normal way things are done when one does jury duty. Were these people going to ask us questions now or were we just here to get sworn in so we could start our jury duty the next day? The judge started by letting us know that we had been selected to participate in this trial and that we would be sitting in judgement of one of our peers. She then went on to tell us that this individual was accused of the crime of second degree murder and second degree manslaughter.
At this point my brain was going WHAT THE !!!!!!! and I'm pretty sure my face had the "oh @#%$" look. As the judge continued, I learned that not only was this a murder trial, the victim was only 16 months old. Once again .."oh #$%@" Leave it to me to not only get stuck on a murder trial, but one with a very young victim.
We were instructed by the judge not to discuss anything about this case to friends or family. We could not read about or watch any media coverage of this case and we were not to look it up on the Internet. We were also instructed not to try and visit the crime scene or do our own investigation. We were told that we, the potential jurors were going to be broken up into smaller panels and then questioned the next week (oh, that's why I have to show up on that Wednesday). After we left, we went back down to the jury room and filled out our form. I left most of mine blank. I really didn't know what to put down. My brain was in a state of total shock. I was able to fill out the part letting the court know that I did not personally know any of the individuals participating in this trial.
After I got done, I handed in the form and left. I picked Andrew up from the daycare and made arrangements for the next Wednesday and told them I might be gone all day so expect all 3 kids. It was pretty hard not saying much to the loving husband. I e-mailed him to let him know that I needed him to do a kid drop off the next week. I did tell him what the trial was and the age of the victim but that was all I said.
I spent the rest of the week asking myself it it was even possible for me to sit on this jury. I am a mother and all of my children are relatively young. Andrew is only 3 so I do remember what 16 months looks and feels like. Could I not only sit in judgement of another person, but could I put my personal feelings aside and fairly look at all the evidence and make a decision? I decided to do the only thing I could. I asked God.
Sometimes God asks us to do things we are not comfortable or wanting to do. I really really did not want to go through this type of trial but how was I to know if this wasn't a task God needed me to perform? It would be so very easy to make a snap judgement and say no, this person is guilty because he is accused of a terrible crime. However, if it was me that stood accused, wouldn't I want a group of people willing to hear my side before jumping to conclusions? I told God that if this was something He needed me to do then I would do it. If this was part of His plan then there really was nothing I could do to stop it . After that, a sense of peace came over me and I was able to focus on other tasks at hand and make preparations for the next week.
Holy Cow!!! What have I got myself into????
When I got to the courthouse I found my way to the jury check-in room. There were probably about 30 of us. We sat and waited until we were called. I was hoping that it would not take very long since I had not arraigned for any after school care for Matthew and Carolyn. My assumption was that some poor soul got stuck with an April 1 trial date and they wanted to get a jury seated but the March people were already done so they needed the April people to show up.
Soon the Clerk of Courts stepped in an informed us that we would be leaving shortly to go up to the courtroom. The judge had some instructions to give us. We were to return back to this room when we were done and fill out yet another information form. We were also given a sheet of paper instructing us to show up on Wednesday, April 7 at 8:15 am. We were told to expect to stay the morning and possible into the afternoon. She also said we did not have to call in on Friday since the sheet given to us was our next week's assignment. Soon afterwards we lined up and went upstairs to the court room.
I have never really been inside a courtroom. I've been in courthouses and when I worked at Eagle Village I had to transport kids to court hearings but I usually didn't sit through them. I was surprised at the number of people that were there. We were told to raise our right hands and then sworn in. After that the judge came down and introduced herself and explained to us what was expected of us.
I was sitting there wondering if this was in fact the normal way things are done when one does jury duty. Were these people going to ask us questions now or were we just here to get sworn in so we could start our jury duty the next day? The judge started by letting us know that we had been selected to participate in this trial and that we would be sitting in judgement of one of our peers. She then went on to tell us that this individual was accused of the crime of second degree murder and second degree manslaughter.
At this point my brain was going WHAT THE !!!!!!! and I'm pretty sure my face had the "oh @#%$" look. As the judge continued, I learned that not only was this a murder trial, the victim was only 16 months old. Once again .."oh #$%@" Leave it to me to not only get stuck on a murder trial, but one with a very young victim.
We were instructed by the judge not to discuss anything about this case to friends or family. We could not read about or watch any media coverage of this case and we were not to look it up on the Internet. We were also instructed not to try and visit the crime scene or do our own investigation. We were told that we, the potential jurors were going to be broken up into smaller panels and then questioned the next week (oh, that's why I have to show up on that Wednesday). After we left, we went back down to the jury room and filled out our form. I left most of mine blank. I really didn't know what to put down. My brain was in a state of total shock. I was able to fill out the part letting the court know that I did not personally know any of the individuals participating in this trial.
After I got done, I handed in the form and left. I picked Andrew up from the daycare and made arrangements for the next Wednesday and told them I might be gone all day so expect all 3 kids. It was pretty hard not saying much to the loving husband. I e-mailed him to let him know that I needed him to do a kid drop off the next week. I did tell him what the trial was and the age of the victim but that was all I said.
I spent the rest of the week asking myself it it was even possible for me to sit on this jury. I am a mother and all of my children are relatively young. Andrew is only 3 so I do remember what 16 months looks and feels like. Could I not only sit in judgement of another person, but could I put my personal feelings aside and fairly look at all the evidence and make a decision? I decided to do the only thing I could. I asked God.
Sometimes God asks us to do things we are not comfortable or wanting to do. I really really did not want to go through this type of trial but how was I to know if this wasn't a task God needed me to perform? It would be so very easy to make a snap judgement and say no, this person is guilty because he is accused of a terrible crime. However, if it was me that stood accused, wouldn't I want a group of people willing to hear my side before jumping to conclusions? I told God that if this was something He needed me to do then I would do it. If this was part of His plan then there really was nothing I could do to stop it . After that, a sense of peace came over me and I was able to focus on other tasks at hand and make preparations for the next week.
Holy Cow!!! What have I got myself into????
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