Late this past January, I got a letter in the mail from the Minnehaha County Clerk of Courts. After first freaking out and thinking they didn't get the money and paperwork I sent in due to that little fender bender earlier that month, I opened the letter all but convinced that I had screwed up and they didn't get their items and now I was summoned to appear in court for my non -compliance. My overactive imagination went into overdrive. What if they issued a bench warrant for my arrest and now I was a wanted criminal? If I got pulled over for a traffic stop, would they take me to jail in handcuffs? Yes, a little on the dramatic and over the top side but thankfully if was only a few minutes of major panic and then quickly passed. I read the letter and gave a huge sigh of relief and then laughed....I had been selected for jury duty.
According to the letter, my term would began in April and I needed to fill out this included form and send it back ASAP or I would be contacted again. I filled out the form and mailed it back. A few weeks later I got a much more detailed form in the mail with instructions to answer every question and not to discuss anything with friends or family members. I was also instructed to mail this form back within a specified amount of time or I would again be contacted by the court. There were a ton of questions to answer and I really tried to answer as honestly as possible, even when there were a few I really wanted to give a sarcastic or less than serious response.
For those who don't know, prospective jurors in this county are required to be available for one month's period. We can be called any time during that month and there is payment for service, along with mileage reimbursement. The bad thing about jury duty for me is the not knowing when I will be needed. I had many sleepless nights worrying about what do with childcare and different bus schedules. I did make arrangements with a local daycare for drop-in placement for this month. I also contacted the Transportation department and asked if they would be willing to accommodate my schedule for the month of April and they said yes.
My first official "we need you" letter arrived towards the end of March. It was brief and to the point. I had been selected for a trial and needed to show up an day earlier than my official start date. I then received another letter a few days later containing a parking permit and instructions for my month of service.
The second letter gave me information on how to access the county web site and also contained a phone number to call. Every Friday for the rest of the month I either log onto the web site or call the number and find out if my jury panel is needed. If it is, then I will be given days and times. I also have to call in the night before I am to show up to see if the trial is still scheduled. Many times both sides come to an agreement before going to trial so the trial scheduled is cancelled and the jury selected for that trial is not needed. A lot of people I know who have had to do jury duty have this happen to them and they spend their whole jury term calling in on a regular basis only to be told they are not needed.
Childcare taken care of and bus scheduled arraigned, I waited for my month of jury service to begin....and boy did it begin. But that is a totally different post.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Yet another life changing moment
Life changing moments, we've all had them. Just about anything can be called life changing if it impacts your day to day way of living or the way you view the world around you. Many are the subtle kind, small things or changes that over time add up and when you look back you realize a definite time, date, or place that set everything in motion. Other life changes are big and dramatic and totally obvious like marriage, birth, death, or relocation. You know exactly when and where you were, and what it was you were doing at that exact moment the event happened.
Last week was one of those moments.
A few years ago I looked into doing hormone testing to see if wacky hormones were causing me the ongoing problems I was experiencing after having Andrew. I actually made the appointment, spoke with a very nice nurse practitioner, and got the take-home test. Unfortunately, the day I did all of that I got terribly sick, underwent exploratory surgery, had my appendix removed, spent 3 days in the hospital on antibiotics, and was told that I probably had Crone's Disease. Although later testing reveled no evidence of Crone's, I never did get around to actually doing the hormone testing.
This past February in an attempt to use up all of our extra Flex spending money, I decided to follow up and do the hormone testing. Our MOPS group had a speaker this past year talk about natural hormone therapy and how it can help re-set things and improve quality of life. I remembered I still had the take home hormone test. I figured the worst that would happen is that I would be told that I'm officially old enough to worry about menopause. In addition to the usual suspect tests, one of the things they did was a gliadin test. When I asked what that was, I was told that it was a gluten test. I did the testing, sent the stuff in, and made an appointment for the end of March to get the results.
I went in a few weeks ago to get my results. I really didn't know what to expect. Part of me hoped they would find something off and be able to fix it. If I really was starting menopause then that would explain why it has been so hard to bounce back to my "before Andrew" body. The other part of me hoped nothing was wrong and all I really needed to do was buckle down and eat healthy and exercise more frequently. I was given the test results and then the very nice nurse practitioner explained them to me.
The good news was that for the most part, my hormones were normal. I did have a problem with having too much of the stress hormone in my body early in the morning. That meant that I was producing too much at night and that was throwing everything else off metabolism wise. The other thing was that gliadin test. It came back positive. Gliadins are polypeptides found in grain gluten. My body views them as toxic and produces antibodies which is what showed up on the test. There are levels from sensitive to intolerant and I fell in the intolerant range. According to the test results, I was gluten intolerant. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. The intolerance was probably an underlying cause to the stress hormone imbalance and it most definitely was the cause of many of my ongoing GI problems.
I seriously didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Of all the things wrong with me, this was probably the LAST thing I would have picked. I left the office in a state of shock and went home to try and figure out what I could eat. I called the loving husband who was just as surprised as me. I then spent time researching what I could do to help myself.
The shock has worn off and reality has set in. I have decided to take it day by day and slowly figure out where to go. Google has become my new best friend and I have bookmarked several Internet sites for reference. I'll do another post about the whole learning how to eat again. I also have started to "let go" of favorite foods that I know that I can no longer eat. It is tough, but this is not the end of the world. I'll figure out how to live this new lifestyle.
Last week was one of those moments.
A few years ago I looked into doing hormone testing to see if wacky hormones were causing me the ongoing problems I was experiencing after having Andrew. I actually made the appointment, spoke with a very nice nurse practitioner, and got the take-home test. Unfortunately, the day I did all of that I got terribly sick, underwent exploratory surgery, had my appendix removed, spent 3 days in the hospital on antibiotics, and was told that I probably had Crone's Disease. Although later testing reveled no evidence of Crone's, I never did get around to actually doing the hormone testing.
This past February in an attempt to use up all of our extra Flex spending money, I decided to follow up and do the hormone testing. Our MOPS group had a speaker this past year talk about natural hormone therapy and how it can help re-set things and improve quality of life. I remembered I still had the take home hormone test. I figured the worst that would happen is that I would be told that I'm officially old enough to worry about menopause. In addition to the usual suspect tests, one of the things they did was a gliadin test. When I asked what that was, I was told that it was a gluten test. I did the testing, sent the stuff in, and made an appointment for the end of March to get the results.
I went in a few weeks ago to get my results. I really didn't know what to expect. Part of me hoped they would find something off and be able to fix it. If I really was starting menopause then that would explain why it has been so hard to bounce back to my "before Andrew" body. The other part of me hoped nothing was wrong and all I really needed to do was buckle down and eat healthy and exercise more frequently. I was given the test results and then the very nice nurse practitioner explained them to me.
The good news was that for the most part, my hormones were normal. I did have a problem with having too much of the stress hormone in my body early in the morning. That meant that I was producing too much at night and that was throwing everything else off metabolism wise. The other thing was that gliadin test. It came back positive. Gliadins are polypeptides found in grain gluten. My body views them as toxic and produces antibodies which is what showed up on the test. There are levels from sensitive to intolerant and I fell in the intolerant range. According to the test results, I was gluten intolerant. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. The intolerance was probably an underlying cause to the stress hormone imbalance and it most definitely was the cause of many of my ongoing GI problems.
I seriously didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Of all the things wrong with me, this was probably the LAST thing I would have picked. I left the office in a state of shock and went home to try and figure out what I could eat. I called the loving husband who was just as surprised as me. I then spent time researching what I could do to help myself.
The shock has worn off and reality has set in. I have decided to take it day by day and slowly figure out where to go. Google has become my new best friend and I have bookmarked several Internet sites for reference. I'll do another post about the whole learning how to eat again. I also have started to "let go" of favorite foods that I know that I can no longer eat. It is tough, but this is not the end of the world. I'll figure out how to live this new lifestyle.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I'll have the big butt special with a side of thunder thighs
Well Spring is here and every one's thoughts go from keeping warm to fitting into all those adorable warm weather outfits that have been suffering in isolation for the past 6 months. Yes, it's the annual "Ok, Now I REALLY have to lose the weight" time. Forget those silly New Year resolutions. You know the ones where you promise yourself you will faithfully visit the gym every day and spend no less than 45 minutes doing some form of weight training or cardio-type exercise class. Followed up by the resolution to declare junk food off-limits and only buy organic vegetables and free-range hormone-free meat to make all those healthy meals you are going to start cooking. It's time to hunker down and get serious...bathing suit weather is just around the corner.
So you are probably thinking this is going to be one of those posts where I discuss weight loss and my failure to meet New Year resolutions (which are not the ones listed above). Nope, that's not the purpose of this post. I want to inform all of you about the soon to be available calorie counts at major restaurants. Yes, that's right. Coming soon to a Red Lobster near you will be the addition of the number of calories in the entree'. Provided the Health Care Bill passes, restaurants will be required to list how many calories are in the food you buy. That also goes for the beverages too. Some places like Mc Donald's have already included it on food wrappers and french fry boxes and some chain restaurants like Applebees have special menus that list items under 500 calories or are worth so many Weight Watchers points.
So what exactly does this mean to the average person? Well, it's simple. Now the person ordering the food no longer has the excuse they were unaware of how unhealthy this item was. To be honest, there is still a lot of gray areas in this. For instance, not every place is required to participate so the little Mom and Pop diners probably aren't going to be overhauling their menu's anytime soon. Also, I'm not sure how the whole calorie count thing works at buffet places either.
The biggest problem is of course portion sizes. How big does something have to be in order to have X amount of calories in it? If I take 5 items at a Chinese buffet or 7 items at Royal Fork how do I know that what I'm eating is an actual serving? If my plate is heaping with pasta, is that how much food qualifies for the calorie count listed on the menu?
Getting back to the whole eating out bit, one has to ask themself if they are actually interested in making a healthy choice when ordering. Let's face it, no one really expects appetizers such as loaded potato skins and mozzarella sticks to be a nutritious part of your meal but I'm sure few people realize just how bad those little items are for them. Same goes for those really healthy sounding items that are full of hidden fat and calories. A chicken sandwich sounds healthier than a hamburger so one might select it thinking they have made a good choice. Well, if the chicken is breaded and fried or isn't 100% breast meat or is served with a mayonnaise based dressing then it might actually be more fattening than a hamburger made with lean ground beef and served without cheese. Even salads can be a diet disaster if one chooses something with cheese, eggs, croutons, some sort of fried or breaded meat and a creamy dressing. It would be nice to know just how healthy (or unhealthy) my food choices are. One other caveat, vegetables. Don't assume they are healthy just because they are on your plate. Butter is a great way to add flavor so even the steamed ones could be floating in a sea of grease.
Then there is my favorite part of the whole calorie post...the drinks. I will confess my undying love of Coca Cola. I love it, love it, love it. I also can't stand the taste of anything diet so only the real Coke will do. That being said, I have to take into consideration all those calories I drink every time I enjoy my favorite beverage. Unfortunately, my love of Coke contributes to my inability to fit into skinny jeans so I limit my intake to weekends and special occasions. I have even trained myself to only buy ice tea (unsweetened) whenever I stop by Casey's in my quest to cut back. I'm so very glad I never got into the flavored coffee drink craze. Yes, I think Starbucks will be affected by the calorie rule so I won't be surprised when some of their popular drinks suffer a decline in sales. I really don't want to know just how bad some of their drinks are and I'm sure many of their devotee's don't either. It could be the "ah-ha" moment some of them need though. Even juice can be bad for you if you drink it like water. 100% juice is surprisingly high in calories and a lot of products will put the word juice in big bold letters and then in small print tell you there is only 10-15% in the product so what you get is a lot of sugar instead.
So in closing dear readers, now that the nutrition police are out to get us. We must remain ever vigilant in our attempts to have a stress-free enjoyable time out at our favorite restaurant. If you are trying to change your eating habits, menu disclosure is a good thing. Maybe that wonderful item you always order every time you eat at a certain place is something you love so much it is worth the 1,000 calories. Does the fact your favorite beverage contains more calories than the lunch you ate freak you out? Order it once a month or find a way to modify it. Do you get the feeling that all those meals eaten outside the home are making you fat while your wallet gets thinner and thinner? Well now you know why. You are in control of what you eat and where you eat it. Take the information for what it is, information. Good or bad, it gives you the power to control your eating habits. Food is supposed to be enjoyed not categorized. A small amount of something that tastes really really good and is enjoyed is always better than a large amount of tasteless junk eaten in a hurry with a side of TUMS later when the indigestion hits.
Now if you will excuse me. I have to go make my organic veggie free-range chicken stir fry or I'm going to be late to my power lifting aerobics class.
* I am not getting paid to mention any product or place of business mentioned in this post.
So you are probably thinking this is going to be one of those posts where I discuss weight loss and my failure to meet New Year resolutions (which are not the ones listed above). Nope, that's not the purpose of this post. I want to inform all of you about the soon to be available calorie counts at major restaurants. Yes, that's right. Coming soon to a Red Lobster near you will be the addition of the number of calories in the entree'. Provided the Health Care Bill passes, restaurants will be required to list how many calories are in the food you buy. That also goes for the beverages too. Some places like Mc Donald's have already included it on food wrappers and french fry boxes and some chain restaurants like Applebees have special menus that list items under 500 calories or are worth so many Weight Watchers points.
So what exactly does this mean to the average person? Well, it's simple. Now the person ordering the food no longer has the excuse they were unaware of how unhealthy this item was. To be honest, there is still a lot of gray areas in this. For instance, not every place is required to participate so the little Mom and Pop diners probably aren't going to be overhauling their menu's anytime soon. Also, I'm not sure how the whole calorie count thing works at buffet places either.
The biggest problem is of course portion sizes. How big does something have to be in order to have X amount of calories in it? If I take 5 items at a Chinese buffet or 7 items at Royal Fork how do I know that what I'm eating is an actual serving? If my plate is heaping with pasta, is that how much food qualifies for the calorie count listed on the menu?
Getting back to the whole eating out bit, one has to ask themself if they are actually interested in making a healthy choice when ordering. Let's face it, no one really expects appetizers such as loaded potato skins and mozzarella sticks to be a nutritious part of your meal but I'm sure few people realize just how bad those little items are for them. Same goes for those really healthy sounding items that are full of hidden fat and calories. A chicken sandwich sounds healthier than a hamburger so one might select it thinking they have made a good choice. Well, if the chicken is breaded and fried or isn't 100% breast meat or is served with a mayonnaise based dressing then it might actually be more fattening than a hamburger made with lean ground beef and served without cheese. Even salads can be a diet disaster if one chooses something with cheese, eggs, croutons, some sort of fried or breaded meat and a creamy dressing. It would be nice to know just how healthy (or unhealthy) my food choices are. One other caveat, vegetables. Don't assume they are healthy just because they are on your plate. Butter is a great way to add flavor so even the steamed ones could be floating in a sea of grease.
Then there is my favorite part of the whole calorie post...the drinks. I will confess my undying love of Coca Cola. I love it, love it, love it. I also can't stand the taste of anything diet so only the real Coke will do. That being said, I have to take into consideration all those calories I drink every time I enjoy my favorite beverage. Unfortunately, my love of Coke contributes to my inability to fit into skinny jeans so I limit my intake to weekends and special occasions. I have even trained myself to only buy ice tea (unsweetened) whenever I stop by Casey's in my quest to cut back. I'm so very glad I never got into the flavored coffee drink craze. Yes, I think Starbucks will be affected by the calorie rule so I won't be surprised when some of their popular drinks suffer a decline in sales. I really don't want to know just how bad some of their drinks are and I'm sure many of their devotee's don't either. It could be the "ah-ha" moment some of them need though. Even juice can be bad for you if you drink it like water. 100% juice is surprisingly high in calories and a lot of products will put the word juice in big bold letters and then in small print tell you there is only 10-15% in the product so what you get is a lot of sugar instead.
So in closing dear readers, now that the nutrition police are out to get us. We must remain ever vigilant in our attempts to have a stress-free enjoyable time out at our favorite restaurant. If you are trying to change your eating habits, menu disclosure is a good thing. Maybe that wonderful item you always order every time you eat at a certain place is something you love so much it is worth the 1,000 calories. Does the fact your favorite beverage contains more calories than the lunch you ate freak you out? Order it once a month or find a way to modify it. Do you get the feeling that all those meals eaten outside the home are making you fat while your wallet gets thinner and thinner? Well now you know why. You are in control of what you eat and where you eat it. Take the information for what it is, information. Good or bad, it gives you the power to control your eating habits. Food is supposed to be enjoyed not categorized. A small amount of something that tastes really really good and is enjoyed is always better than a large amount of tasteless junk eaten in a hurry with a side of TUMS later when the indigestion hits.
Now if you will excuse me. I have to go make my organic veggie free-range chicken stir fry or I'm going to be late to my power lifting aerobics class.
* I am not getting paid to mention any product or place of business mentioned in this post.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Spring cleaning the pantry
Well it is now officially spring so that means time for spring cleaning. I do try to break things down so I don't have so much to do. I go through the closets so I have my Goodwill bags ready in time to update the kid's wardrobe for the warmer months. I'm also trying to do a toy purge and rid the downstairs of the piles of not very played with items that seem to accumulate on their own. As for some of the other cleaning jobs, well I usually wait until the sudden need to do it hits me. Usually, that occurs when I'm working on one thing and then realize that hey maybe I should move on and also do this other similar thing too. Kinda like loading the dishwasher and realizing that maybe it's time to get out the baking soda and scrub the sink and sanitize behind the toaster. Or vacuuming the floor and then deciding that maybe I should move all of the furniture out of the way and clean there too. I still need the loving husband to clean the tops of my ceiling fans.
Today's inspirational cleaning job was the pantry. Now my pantry isn't very big but it does hold quite a bit of stuff. The upper shelves get stuffed with little-used items and the lower shelves are constantly being rummaged through by everyone with some sort of appetite. I have been trying very hard this past year to limit the amount of grocery purchases I make each week. I admit to being an impulse shopper and sometimes buy an item because it looks good or I've forgotten to eat before shopping and my stomach decided for me. There is also those oh so wonderful sales that seem to pop up on a weekly and or monthly basis where certain items are ridiculously cheap....if bought in huge quantities. I still have a case of Ramon needles to remind me of that stupid mistake.
I was only going to shut the door and put away the step stool Andrew had gotten out in his search for the peanut butter but I started looking at the items on the shelves and decided that maybe I should do my spring clean organize. I started on the top shelf which is one of those places where the seldom used items find their way when they take up too much room on the lower shelves. This is where I start to ask myself two very important questions: 1. How long has it been here? and 2. Is it still good? Every item on the shelf gets these two questions applied to them. For some things like the big jar of peanuts I found hidden the answer to question #1 was I don't know so the obvious answer to question #2 is no. For the box of baking mix and oatmeal pancake mix I had to look at expiration dates because I remember buying them but wasn't sure how recent it was. I also found a few duplicate items that I had bought knowing that I was sure I had the item already but had been unable to locate it.
Having done this several times through out the year, it has become much easier to sort and toss. I still surprise myself with various finds though. I actually thought I had gotten rid of all Halloween candy...until I found a few leftover pieces in the corner of shelf three. I also found all that stupid Valentine candy the kids brought home last month. I'm still pondering how long unopened stir-fry sauce can sit on a shelf and not go bad. To be safe, I tossed it. I also found the source of an outbreak of flour bugs that plagued my cereal a few months ago. I had thought it was an old box of sweetened cereal I bought for the kids during one of those fall tent sales. It turned out to be a very old and forgotten box of cheese crackers shoved in the very very back of the topmost shelf. I also re-checked each one of my cereals to make sure they were not affected.
It really didn't take too long to finish this task. The hardest part was re-organizing the items on the shelves. I still had several unopened items that got tossed so I really do need to work harder at my buying. I also should have done this last night while getting the garbage and recyclables ready. After sorting and tossing, I swept the floor and re-arraigned the items stored there. I am amazed at how much clutter I can stuff there. Even though I use fabric grocery bags I still threw out quite a few plastic bags. I also wonder if beer in a glass bottle stored in a pantry out of direct light is still drinkable a year later. I still have some left over from last summer when my folks visited. I'll probably use them to cook brats this summer. I also have several items that were "boarder line" in expiration date so I need to try and remember to use them as soon as I can.
After I finished I had that wonderful sense of accomplishment. I'm now good for a few more months. Now I just have to finish the rest of my house.
Today's inspirational cleaning job was the pantry. Now my pantry isn't very big but it does hold quite a bit of stuff. The upper shelves get stuffed with little-used items and the lower shelves are constantly being rummaged through by everyone with some sort of appetite. I have been trying very hard this past year to limit the amount of grocery purchases I make each week. I admit to being an impulse shopper and sometimes buy an item because it looks good or I've forgotten to eat before shopping and my stomach decided for me. There is also those oh so wonderful sales that seem to pop up on a weekly and or monthly basis where certain items are ridiculously cheap....if bought in huge quantities. I still have a case of Ramon needles to remind me of that stupid mistake.
I was only going to shut the door and put away the step stool Andrew had gotten out in his search for the peanut butter but I started looking at the items on the shelves and decided that maybe I should do my spring clean organize. I started on the top shelf which is one of those places where the seldom used items find their way when they take up too much room on the lower shelves. This is where I start to ask myself two very important questions: 1. How long has it been here? and 2. Is it still good? Every item on the shelf gets these two questions applied to them. For some things like the big jar of peanuts I found hidden the answer to question #1 was I don't know so the obvious answer to question #2 is no. For the box of baking mix and oatmeal pancake mix I had to look at expiration dates because I remember buying them but wasn't sure how recent it was. I also found a few duplicate items that I had bought knowing that I was sure I had the item already but had been unable to locate it.
Having done this several times through out the year, it has become much easier to sort and toss. I still surprise myself with various finds though. I actually thought I had gotten rid of all Halloween candy...until I found a few leftover pieces in the corner of shelf three. I also found all that stupid Valentine candy the kids brought home last month. I'm still pondering how long unopened stir-fry sauce can sit on a shelf and not go bad. To be safe, I tossed it. I also found the source of an outbreak of flour bugs that plagued my cereal a few months ago. I had thought it was an old box of sweetened cereal I bought for the kids during one of those fall tent sales. It turned out to be a very old and forgotten box of cheese crackers shoved in the very very back of the topmost shelf. I also re-checked each one of my cereals to make sure they were not affected.
It really didn't take too long to finish this task. The hardest part was re-organizing the items on the shelves. I still had several unopened items that got tossed so I really do need to work harder at my buying. I also should have done this last night while getting the garbage and recyclables ready. After sorting and tossing, I swept the floor and re-arraigned the items stored there. I am amazed at how much clutter I can stuff there. Even though I use fabric grocery bags I still threw out quite a few plastic bags. I also wonder if beer in a glass bottle stored in a pantry out of direct light is still drinkable a year later. I still have some left over from last summer when my folks visited. I'll probably use them to cook brats this summer. I also have several items that were "boarder line" in expiration date so I need to try and remember to use them as soon as I can.
After I finished I had that wonderful sense of accomplishment. I'm now good for a few more months. Now I just have to finish the rest of my house.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Cindy moments
This morning I had yet another "Cindy Moment". Ok, for those who aren't quite familiar with the term, a "Cindy Moment" is where I totally forget something. It might be something I had to do, directions that get screwed up because I don't know right from left, something I was supposed to remember, or just one of the many many times I spaced out and forgot (insert person, place, or thing here).
Yes I am quite spacey at times. I tend to blame it on my name which if you look it up, roughly translates to moon which of course is an object in space. Hey, that's my excuse. This condition is not entirely new, I have been living with it all my life and unfortunately, so have all my family and friends. I used to drive my parents crazy whenever I forgot to do something or give them important information like phone messages. They never quite took me seriously when I told them that if they wanted me to do something they needed to write it down and give it to me or put it on the calender as a set thing to be done every week (think weekly chores) In addition to my forgetfulness, I also have a habit of losing things. I think it is because I put them down and forget where it is I put them. This gets very annoying when I'm trying to cook or finish a task and have been interrupted in the middle and then have to return after a period of time.
As I get older, the forgetfulness just keeps getting worse. Ok, maybe not worse, but not any better either. I really do have to hand it to the loving husband, he lives with me and still wants to be married to me. It wasn't so bad when we were first married and it was just the two of us. Once I got pregnant, my mind took a long vacation. Wow, was I forgetful. I forgot to put groceries away, forgot phone numbers, forgot where I put things.... oh wait, I still do that. Maybe I need to give my brain a call and tell it the vacation's over. Now where did I put that number?
I also have a way of losing mail. It drives the loving husband up the wall when he is looking for a bill or some important item and he can't find it and I have no idea where I put it. I have partially solved this problem by buying a hanging file folder and putting a special folder marked "bills" in there so I can put bills there an not worry about losing them. I'm trying to do that for the permission slips and school notices that I get. So far I've only lost a few important items. I also have a separate calender on the wall dedicated to school items like early/late starts, days off and special events.
So what is it I did this morning that qualifies as a Cindy moment? Last night I asked hubby to buy hamburger for tonight's supper. This morning he found it on the kitchen counter. Yep, 3 pounds wasted. I guess it's better than the last big Cindy moment which was in November. I was running errands and forgot Carolyn had school that afternoon. We were just finishing up in the grocery store when Carolyn told me she wanted to go to school. I then realized not only had I totally forgotten she had school, class was starting in minutes. I had to call Transportation and apologise for not being home at the scheduled pick -up time and then call the school because Carolyn was going to be late. Poor kid missed PE. Of course there have been other Cindy moments between now and then but they were just the usual forgot to pick something up at the store, take the laundry out of the washing machine, or put shoes or a snack in the backpack. I could do a whole post about all my Cindy moments in Tae Kwan Do.
Maybe someday they will find a cure for forgetfulness. Until then I guess everyone will have to put up with my wonderful "Cindy Moments".
Yes I am quite spacey at times. I tend to blame it on my name which if you look it up, roughly translates to moon which of course is an object in space. Hey, that's my excuse. This condition is not entirely new, I have been living with it all my life and unfortunately, so have all my family and friends. I used to drive my parents crazy whenever I forgot to do something or give them important information like phone messages. They never quite took me seriously when I told them that if they wanted me to do something they needed to write it down and give it to me or put it on the calender as a set thing to be done every week (think weekly chores) In addition to my forgetfulness, I also have a habit of losing things. I think it is because I put them down and forget where it is I put them. This gets very annoying when I'm trying to cook or finish a task and have been interrupted in the middle and then have to return after a period of time.
As I get older, the forgetfulness just keeps getting worse. Ok, maybe not worse, but not any better either. I really do have to hand it to the loving husband, he lives with me and still wants to be married to me. It wasn't so bad when we were first married and it was just the two of us. Once I got pregnant, my mind took a long vacation. Wow, was I forgetful. I forgot to put groceries away, forgot phone numbers, forgot where I put things.... oh wait, I still do that. Maybe I need to give my brain a call and tell it the vacation's over. Now where did I put that number?
I also have a way of losing mail. It drives the loving husband up the wall when he is looking for a bill or some important item and he can't find it and I have no idea where I put it. I have partially solved this problem by buying a hanging file folder and putting a special folder marked "bills" in there so I can put bills there an not worry about losing them. I'm trying to do that for the permission slips and school notices that I get. So far I've only lost a few important items. I also have a separate calender on the wall dedicated to school items like early/late starts, days off and special events.
So what is it I did this morning that qualifies as a Cindy moment? Last night I asked hubby to buy hamburger for tonight's supper. This morning he found it on the kitchen counter. Yep, 3 pounds wasted. I guess it's better than the last big Cindy moment which was in November. I was running errands and forgot Carolyn had school that afternoon. We were just finishing up in the grocery store when Carolyn told me she wanted to go to school. I then realized not only had I totally forgotten she had school, class was starting in minutes. I had to call Transportation and apologise for not being home at the scheduled pick -up time and then call the school because Carolyn was going to be late. Poor kid missed PE. Of course there have been other Cindy moments between now and then but they were just the usual forgot to pick something up at the store, take the laundry out of the washing machine, or put shoes or a snack in the backpack. I could do a whole post about all my Cindy moments in Tae Kwan Do.
Maybe someday they will find a cure for forgetfulness. Until then I guess everyone will have to put up with my wonderful "Cindy Moments".
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I got fish-slapped
A few weeks ago at my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting the topic of discussion was about how God talks to you in different ways. I forget what the term used was but basically it was how a word or phrase keeps showing up in what we read or the music we listen to or series of seemingly unrelated events happen at certain times in our lives that either answer a question we are pondering or give our life a new direction or focus. This sometimes occurs after praying about a problem or a person or even an important decision and other times it happens right out of the blue for no real explainable reason.
As the discussion went on, I realized that I had a different name for this type of event...I call it a fish-slap. Yes, it is a strange name and yes, I do have a reason for it. Simply, the fish or more importantly, the word fish was an early code word for Christians during the times when it was unsafe to openly practice the religion. The fish is used quite frequently in the Bible in stories and phrases. The fish also has the ability to actually slap you under certain circumstances, like if you hold one in your hands or are trying to put one in the net. I could go on but I think you get my very strange point. I associate the fish with a message from God. No, I don't actually hear fish speak so no calling the guys in the white jackets.
Anyway, getting back to my story. This past week Matthew had his Tae Kwan Do test for his yellow belt. I won't go into detail about the events, all I will say is that the combination of Autism, nerves, anxiety, and frustration over not being able to break a board did not make for a good testing experience. When it was all over, Matthew was in tears and I was left stunned and numbed by the chain of events that led up to the test's end. My heart broke as I hugged him afterwards and he turned his little tear-filled face to me and said "I tried my best". I had no words of comfort for him, no good explanation, no good anything. I could only hug him and tell him I loved him.
One of the truly wonderful things about Matthew is his cheerful and happy spirit. He also has a very short attention span/memory of events so by the end of the evening, the only thing Matthew could talk about was waiting 2 weeks and then getting his yellow belt. He did tell the loving husband that yes, he wanted to keep doing Tae Kwan Do.
While Matthew may have been quick to bounce back, I sure wasn't. The conflict of emotions going though me was huge. I was hurt and angry, still reeling from what had happened and totally unsure as to what to do about it. If this had been any other place and test, things would have been so much more simple...take the kid, walk away, never look back. The parent in me wanted to do just that. The mother in me wanted to go completely "mamma bear" and storm back in and vent my displeasure and rip someone to shreds. The black belt part of me wanted to sort things out and look at the situation objectively from a martial arts point of view. The rest of me wanted to just go home.
I would like to point out that the fact Matthew did not pass his test is not the reason for my distress. In all fairness, Matthew did not pass the test for the same reasons any other child would not pass a belt test. One of the things a child needs to experience in life is failure. As a parent, I can not get mad at the world just because I don't want to see my child fail at something or experience the pain of that failure. My job is to be there for support and guidance and to catch him when he falls so the landing doesn't hurt as much. It is a job that I take very seriously.
It is also my job as a parent to watch over my child and keep him out of harm's way. As a mother of a special needs child this gets to be a huge job, both physically and mentally. Watching the outcome of the test left me helpless and frustrated. I felt like I had somehow failed my child and put him in a no-win situation. I really did not know what to do.
I spent the next few days wondering and worrying and fussing and fretting about and blaming myself for what had happened. I really had a hard time separating my thoughts from my emotions. The biggest thing I wondered was whether or not I was being too overly sensitive of a parent. Was I blowing things out of proportion or was I justified in my feelings? What exactly was it that I was so upset about and why? I did have several discussions with the loving husband about these things. It was difficult at times to do so since he too was sorting though his emotions and feelings. The conclusion I finally came to was that I was upset at the way Matthew was treated at the end of testing. I was disappointed that those in charge of testing didn't take into consideration that Matthew has a disability and what they saw was in fact the best that Matthew was able to give that night. I had really hoped the testers could see Matthew for the unique person he is and judge him on what he can do instead of what it is he struggles with.
The hardest part of sorting through everything was staying away from the computer. I wanted so much to e-mail, blog, or post on Facebook. I wanted to spew and vent and name call. Oh it would be soo easy to hop on and spin my tale of woe. A few mouse clicks, a couple of hours of typing and presto..instant therapy. However, that would be breaking my first rule of blogging which of course is to never post anything hurtful or negative in spirit about anyone. Same goes for the Facebook. There was only one place I turn to to get things sorted out and that is where my fish-slap comes into place.
Last night as I was having my nightly discussion with God (Ok, I only call it prayer if I'm kneeling on my knees with hands folded) I asked Him what to do. I really wanted to move on and let everything go but I just couldn't let my self take that first step. This morning I decided to take advantage of a few free minutes and check my Facebook page. I happened to like a post that one of my friends posted and I noticed that he used an application that gives out random sayings. I decided that I too wanted to try it and get a random post so I clicked on the application to get my random saying. This is what I got...... We can't do anything about the past to make the present better. What's done is done. But we can always do something in the present to make it better...
SLAP!!!! Guess I got my answer. I can't un-do last Thursday so being mad isn't gonna help things out at all. However, I can use that experience as a teachable moment and work with Matthew to help him avoid a repeat performance.
Thanks GOD:)
As the discussion went on, I realized that I had a different name for this type of event...I call it a fish-slap. Yes, it is a strange name and yes, I do have a reason for it. Simply, the fish or more importantly, the word fish was an early code word for Christians during the times when it was unsafe to openly practice the religion. The fish is used quite frequently in the Bible in stories and phrases. The fish also has the ability to actually slap you under certain circumstances, like if you hold one in your hands or are trying to put one in the net. I could go on but I think you get my very strange point. I associate the fish with a message from God. No, I don't actually hear fish speak so no calling the guys in the white jackets.
Anyway, getting back to my story. This past week Matthew had his Tae Kwan Do test for his yellow belt. I won't go into detail about the events, all I will say is that the combination of Autism, nerves, anxiety, and frustration over not being able to break a board did not make for a good testing experience. When it was all over, Matthew was in tears and I was left stunned and numbed by the chain of events that led up to the test's end. My heart broke as I hugged him afterwards and he turned his little tear-filled face to me and said "I tried my best". I had no words of comfort for him, no good explanation, no good anything. I could only hug him and tell him I loved him.
One of the truly wonderful things about Matthew is his cheerful and happy spirit. He also has a very short attention span/memory of events so by the end of the evening, the only thing Matthew could talk about was waiting 2 weeks and then getting his yellow belt. He did tell the loving husband that yes, he wanted to keep doing Tae Kwan Do.
While Matthew may have been quick to bounce back, I sure wasn't. The conflict of emotions going though me was huge. I was hurt and angry, still reeling from what had happened and totally unsure as to what to do about it. If this had been any other place and test, things would have been so much more simple...take the kid, walk away, never look back. The parent in me wanted to do just that. The mother in me wanted to go completely "mamma bear" and storm back in and vent my displeasure and rip someone to shreds. The black belt part of me wanted to sort things out and look at the situation objectively from a martial arts point of view. The rest of me wanted to just go home.
I would like to point out that the fact Matthew did not pass his test is not the reason for my distress. In all fairness, Matthew did not pass the test for the same reasons any other child would not pass a belt test. One of the things a child needs to experience in life is failure. As a parent, I can not get mad at the world just because I don't want to see my child fail at something or experience the pain of that failure. My job is to be there for support and guidance and to catch him when he falls so the landing doesn't hurt as much. It is a job that I take very seriously.
It is also my job as a parent to watch over my child and keep him out of harm's way. As a mother of a special needs child this gets to be a huge job, both physically and mentally. Watching the outcome of the test left me helpless and frustrated. I felt like I had somehow failed my child and put him in a no-win situation. I really did not know what to do.
I spent the next few days wondering and worrying and fussing and fretting about and blaming myself for what had happened. I really had a hard time separating my thoughts from my emotions. The biggest thing I wondered was whether or not I was being too overly sensitive of a parent. Was I blowing things out of proportion or was I justified in my feelings? What exactly was it that I was so upset about and why? I did have several discussions with the loving husband about these things. It was difficult at times to do so since he too was sorting though his emotions and feelings. The conclusion I finally came to was that I was upset at the way Matthew was treated at the end of testing. I was disappointed that those in charge of testing didn't take into consideration that Matthew has a disability and what they saw was in fact the best that Matthew was able to give that night. I had really hoped the testers could see Matthew for the unique person he is and judge him on what he can do instead of what it is he struggles with.
The hardest part of sorting through everything was staying away from the computer. I wanted so much to e-mail, blog, or post on Facebook. I wanted to spew and vent and name call. Oh it would be soo easy to hop on and spin my tale of woe. A few mouse clicks, a couple of hours of typing and presto..instant therapy. However, that would be breaking my first rule of blogging which of course is to never post anything hurtful or negative in spirit about anyone. Same goes for the Facebook. There was only one place I turn to to get things sorted out and that is where my fish-slap comes into place.
Last night as I was having my nightly discussion with God (Ok, I only call it prayer if I'm kneeling on my knees with hands folded) I asked Him what to do. I really wanted to move on and let everything go but I just couldn't let my self take that first step. This morning I decided to take advantage of a few free minutes and check my Facebook page. I happened to like a post that one of my friends posted and I noticed that he used an application that gives out random sayings. I decided that I too wanted to try it and get a random post so I clicked on the application to get my random saying. This is what I got...... We can't do anything about the past to make the present better. What's done is done. But we can always do something in the present to make it better...
SLAP!!!! Guess I got my answer. I can't un-do last Thursday so being mad isn't gonna help things out at all. However, I can use that experience as a teachable moment and work with Matthew to help him avoid a repeat performance.
Thanks GOD:)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
There's a reason why I don't e-mail when I'm grouchy
This past Monday night I took Matthew and Carolyn to our local ski area to go tubing. During the weekends the place is stupid crazy busy (yes, that's a term) so we never go near it but on the weekdays it is much quieter. They also have reduced rates if you tube the last two hours of the evening so I planned for an 8-10pm outing. On this night the 3 of us had the whole hill to ourselves and it was a ton of fun.
Of course the downside to a late evening is the getting up in the morning. Matthew is not much of a morning person (gee I wonder where he gets that from) and was pretty sleepy when the alarm rang at 6:55. I of course was my usual sleepy grumpy, scatterbrained self. My job is to make sure Matthew is up, dressed, and fed before the bus picks him up at 7:40. Andrew also has morning school but doesn't have to leave until 7:50 so I concentrate on Matthew and let Andrew fend for himself until after Matthew is taken care of. Because there is snow on the ground, Matthew is required to wear snow pants and boots. Wearing boots to school means that the tennis shoes must be put into the backpack and if left up to Matthew, they would be sitting at home 4 days out of 5 so I usually pack his backpack with them, along with a snack and homework or speech folder, depending on the day of the week. Yesterday was no exception.
About 2 years ago, I got fed up with the hunt for the missing shoes and bought a small tan bin that I put near the door. The kids all know that when they take their shoes off, each shoe is to be put into the shoe bin. I also only buy each child 1 pair of shoes to wear during the non-summer months so they only need to look for their personal pair and put them on when needed. Really, it does save a lot of time and hassle. As for the socks...well, lets just say that if the kids run out of clean pairs then look into the shoe bin because for some reason they think the socks must stay with the shoes.
Getting back to yesterday. I managed to get Matthew up and out of bed and went about putting items into the backpack. I reached into the shoe bin and grabbed Matthew's shoes and stuffed them in. I asked him his snack preference and got that put in also. As the clock ticked closer to the bus arrival time I made sure to ask Matthew if he had everything he needed for school, including his shoes. I like to have Matthew do a backpack check even if I was the one packing because I'm trying to teach him to take responsibility for making sure he has all of his school items ready to take with him.. As the bus horn honked, Matthew came running over to me a little on the upset side because he had one of his shoes in his hand and could not get the backpack open. I hurriedly opened the backpack and stuffed the shoe in and handed it back to him and watched him run out the door and across the street. In the back of my mind I wondered why Matthew took his shoes out of his backpack and was trying to put them back...did he really need to re-pack them???
After Matthew left, I turned my attention to Andrew who is the polar opposite when it comes to mornings. The only problem I have with Andrew is his preferred way to wake up is to crawl on my lap and sit there drinking soy milk out of his sippy for about 10 minutes or so. Not always possible if I have to taskmaster Matthew. Thankfully Andrew was not in a sitting kind of mood so I dressed him and got out his coat, hat, and mittens. Andrew doesn't have to wear snow clothes to school and the staff actually discourage it because they really don't want to have to put snow clothes on a bunch of 3 year olds every day.
All was going well until I went over to the shoe bin and only found 1 Andrew shoe. Actually, the Andrew shoe was not in the shoe bin, it was on the floor near the shoe bin. I found a pair of socks in the shoe bin but no match to Andrew's shoe. Remembering that the evening before I had Matthew and Carolyn and the loving husband had Andrew led to my concluding that Andrew had taken off his shoes somewhere else but they never made it to the shoe bin. Obviously, the loving husband didn't make sure both shoes made it into the shoe bin and now I had to play detective and try and locate the missing item before Andrew's van arrived to pick him up.
I searched high and low. I looked under beds, in closets, down in the toy area of the basement, even in the computer room but could not find it. Remember, I only buy 1 pair of shes per kid so the only option I had for Andrew was to make him wear his snow boots. After trying in vain to locate the missing shoe, the van arrived and I was forced to send the poor kid to school wearing snow boots. Judging from the way Andrew looked at me I think they were getting a little too small for him. Suffice to say I was NOT very happy with the loving husband.
During my fruitless search for the missing shoe, I decided that it was HIS ( the loving husband's)fault that the shoes didn't make it into the bin and got lost. Andrew is known to kick his shoes off anywhere he plops down and we are still working with him to actually put them in their proper place. I started to grumble to myself and decided that an e-mail was definitely in order. Nothing too mean, just a please please don't ever do this again type of thing. I started to compose the letter in my head with every intention of sending it as soon as Andrew left for school.
As I was getting ready to head downstairs, something stopped me and my brain started to do a re-wind of the morning's events. It was rather strange that Matthew had his shoe in his hand and not in the backpack...what if one of the shoes got taken to school? I decided to hold off on the e-mail until Matthew got home that afternoon and make sure there was no Andrew shoe in the backpack.
Sure enough, when Matthew got home from school, he had 3 shoes in his backpack. His pair of shoes and the missing Andrew shoe. The best guess I can make is that when I loaded the backpack that morning, I grabbed two shoes and stuffed them in without looking at what I was doing. When I reminded Matthew to check for shoes, he saw one of his shoes in the shoe bin and was trying to put it in the backpack when the bus showed up. I'm sure I would have caught the mistake if there had been a mis-match of shoes in the shoe bin when I tried to get Andrew ready instead of a missing shoe.
Later that evening on the way to Tae Kwan Do class, I repeated my story to the loving husband. He started to get defensive when I mentioned that Andrew didn't have both shoes in the bin and went on to tell me that he did put the shoes away. I calmly assured him that there was more to my story and reminded him that there was no e-mail sent and I finished telling my tale. After I got done, the loving husband just rolled his eyes and laughed at me.
Yes, this is why I make it a point never to send e-mail when I'm in a grouchy mood. I also need to remind myself to actually look at what it is I'm doing....even if I am half-asleep.
Of course the downside to a late evening is the getting up in the morning. Matthew is not much of a morning person (gee I wonder where he gets that from) and was pretty sleepy when the alarm rang at 6:55. I of course was my usual sleepy grumpy, scatterbrained self. My job is to make sure Matthew is up, dressed, and fed before the bus picks him up at 7:40. Andrew also has morning school but doesn't have to leave until 7:50 so I concentrate on Matthew and let Andrew fend for himself until after Matthew is taken care of. Because there is snow on the ground, Matthew is required to wear snow pants and boots. Wearing boots to school means that the tennis shoes must be put into the backpack and if left up to Matthew, they would be sitting at home 4 days out of 5 so I usually pack his backpack with them, along with a snack and homework or speech folder, depending on the day of the week. Yesterday was no exception.
About 2 years ago, I got fed up with the hunt for the missing shoes and bought a small tan bin that I put near the door. The kids all know that when they take their shoes off, each shoe is to be put into the shoe bin. I also only buy each child 1 pair of shoes to wear during the non-summer months so they only need to look for their personal pair and put them on when needed. Really, it does save a lot of time and hassle. As for the socks...well, lets just say that if the kids run out of clean pairs then look into the shoe bin because for some reason they think the socks must stay with the shoes.
Getting back to yesterday. I managed to get Matthew up and out of bed and went about putting items into the backpack. I reached into the shoe bin and grabbed Matthew's shoes and stuffed them in. I asked him his snack preference and got that put in also. As the clock ticked closer to the bus arrival time I made sure to ask Matthew if he had everything he needed for school, including his shoes. I like to have Matthew do a backpack check even if I was the one packing because I'm trying to teach him to take responsibility for making sure he has all of his school items ready to take with him.. As the bus horn honked, Matthew came running over to me a little on the upset side because he had one of his shoes in his hand and could not get the backpack open. I hurriedly opened the backpack and stuffed the shoe in and handed it back to him and watched him run out the door and across the street. In the back of my mind I wondered why Matthew took his shoes out of his backpack and was trying to put them back...did he really need to re-pack them???
After Matthew left, I turned my attention to Andrew who is the polar opposite when it comes to mornings. The only problem I have with Andrew is his preferred way to wake up is to crawl on my lap and sit there drinking soy milk out of his sippy for about 10 minutes or so. Not always possible if I have to taskmaster Matthew. Thankfully Andrew was not in a sitting kind of mood so I dressed him and got out his coat, hat, and mittens. Andrew doesn't have to wear snow clothes to school and the staff actually discourage it because they really don't want to have to put snow clothes on a bunch of 3 year olds every day.
All was going well until I went over to the shoe bin and only found 1 Andrew shoe. Actually, the Andrew shoe was not in the shoe bin, it was on the floor near the shoe bin. I found a pair of socks in the shoe bin but no match to Andrew's shoe. Remembering that the evening before I had Matthew and Carolyn and the loving husband had Andrew led to my concluding that Andrew had taken off his shoes somewhere else but they never made it to the shoe bin. Obviously, the loving husband didn't make sure both shoes made it into the shoe bin and now I had to play detective and try and locate the missing item before Andrew's van arrived to pick him up.
I searched high and low. I looked under beds, in closets, down in the toy area of the basement, even in the computer room but could not find it. Remember, I only buy 1 pair of shes per kid so the only option I had for Andrew was to make him wear his snow boots. After trying in vain to locate the missing shoe, the van arrived and I was forced to send the poor kid to school wearing snow boots. Judging from the way Andrew looked at me I think they were getting a little too small for him. Suffice to say I was NOT very happy with the loving husband.
During my fruitless search for the missing shoe, I decided that it was HIS ( the loving husband's)fault that the shoes didn't make it into the bin and got lost. Andrew is known to kick his shoes off anywhere he plops down and we are still working with him to actually put them in their proper place. I started to grumble to myself and decided that an e-mail was definitely in order. Nothing too mean, just a please please don't ever do this again type of thing. I started to compose the letter in my head with every intention of sending it as soon as Andrew left for school.
As I was getting ready to head downstairs, something stopped me and my brain started to do a re-wind of the morning's events. It was rather strange that Matthew had his shoe in his hand and not in the backpack...what if one of the shoes got taken to school? I decided to hold off on the e-mail until Matthew got home that afternoon and make sure there was no Andrew shoe in the backpack.
Sure enough, when Matthew got home from school, he had 3 shoes in his backpack. His pair of shoes and the missing Andrew shoe. The best guess I can make is that when I loaded the backpack that morning, I grabbed two shoes and stuffed them in without looking at what I was doing. When I reminded Matthew to check for shoes, he saw one of his shoes in the shoe bin and was trying to put it in the backpack when the bus showed up. I'm sure I would have caught the mistake if there had been a mis-match of shoes in the shoe bin when I tried to get Andrew ready instead of a missing shoe.
Later that evening on the way to Tae Kwan Do class, I repeated my story to the loving husband. He started to get defensive when I mentioned that Andrew didn't have both shoes in the bin and went on to tell me that he did put the shoes away. I calmly assured him that there was more to my story and reminded him that there was no e-mail sent and I finished telling my tale. After I got done, the loving husband just rolled his eyes and laughed at me.
Yes, this is why I make it a point never to send e-mail when I'm in a grouchy mood. I also need to remind myself to actually look at what it is I'm doing....even if I am half-asleep.
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