Easter

Well I finally got my ring back so I was going to write about that but I thought that it might be a little inappropriate to gush about a wedding ring on Maunday Thursday so I decided to wait and write about that later. I will say that I'm soooo happy to have my ring back, I feel married again. Anyway, I got this brilliant idea that this year we should go out to visit my parents, brother and sister and her family in Rapid City over Easter weekend. I figured that with the holiday falling during the second week of April we would have nice sunny weather and I wanted the kids to experience Sunrise Services at Mt. Rushmore. We used to do that a lot when I was younger. Get up, put on warm clothes and sit/stand through a short outdoor service with (at the time) hymns sung by a group of local Cowboy musicians. Then back home for Easter baskets and pancakes. Those years it was too chilly or snowy or wet we dressed up and went to services at our church. Oh the misty watercolor memories.... Now fast forward to reality and the Black Hills have been buried under feet of snow with more expected. Instead of cute spring clothes and a fun trip to the park we will be packing snow clothes and maybe planning on sledding and making a snowman. For obvious reasons the Mt. Rushmore plans won't be happening. I'm thinking maybe we could do the Easter Vigil Saturday night at the Cathedral instead. Mom still wants to go to Deadwood for brunch so I'm sure that is what we will be doing Sunday afternoon. Even though it won't be quite what I wanted I still plan on having fun with my family. I have spent all this week trying to get things ready for the trip. Yesterday I did all the laundry there was to do so that I would have clean clothes for the kids and a lot less laundry to do when we came back on Monday. Earlier in the week I made sure to get the snacks and cleaned out the van so it looks nice again. The only thing I had not gotten to was the fish feeder. I thought I still had a weekend feeder somewhere in the house but I must have used it because it was not where it was supposed to be. My grand Thursday plan was to make sure the kids were bathed and showered by the time hubby came home from work so we could all leave for Tae Kwan Do class at the same time. Hubby usually helps teach the kids class so he likes to leave the house by 6:30. I figured that we could go to the Wellness Center and I drop the kids and husband off and pop over to Target and pick up the food. I'd be back before the 8:00 adult class. Simple. NOT!! My afternoon routine was going great and I had supper ready to go by the usual time and then the best laid plans went kersplat. Carolyn pitched a huge fit because I got after her for eating Jim's sweet roll for supper instead of her stir fry. She started screaming she hated stir fry and stomped off to her room and slammed the door. I'm sure I heard a few "I hate mommy" phrases too. After 10 or so minutes all was quiet in the room and when I opened the door there was a small lump buried under the comforter snoring. Meanwhile, Matthew finished his food and then wanted me to move the laundry that was on his bed because he wanted a nap. Within minutes of me finishing that task Matthew was fast asleep. Past experience has taught me that it is better to let the kids nap than to try and keep them awake so I let them sleep and hubby went by himself to class and I did not get to Target. I then waited until after we got home from class, the kids were in bed and I had packed the bag for the kids for our trip and set out for Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is always a challenge to do and when it is done after 10 pm then it is even more of a challenge. It still amazes me how busy the store is even at late hours. As I was walking in a family was coming out with three carts loaded with groceries and supplies. And by family, I mean there was at least one small child. I go to the store on the East side of Sioux Falls and that area has a lot of working class families. I'm sure many of them work second or third shift jobs and this is the only time they have to shop. When doing late night Wal-Mart it is best to have a sense of humor and lots of patience because stuff is usually sold out/not restocked yet, help is nowhere to be found and the cashiers have limited English skills. They do however, have a greeter so that even at midnight you can be cheerfully welcomed into the store. I got my few items--they did not have any size 6 Luvs diapers-- and went to find a person to stand behind that did not have an overflowing cart of items. Remember, it's late and there are very few checkout lanes open and the majority of shoppers are grocery shopping for the month. I found my line, the person ahead of me was more than half done getting checked out. It was going great and then I hear "I never see it do this before" Yes, this is a direct quote. The name on the cashier's badge along with her accent was enough to convince me that English was not her first language. Anyway her till had frozen up and she could not finish the transaction. The floor manager was also not able to got it to work so she was calling for more assistance. I had five items and was trying to be patient but I was tired and wanted to get the heck out of there so I finally asked if I should just move to another line. The till next to her was almost finishing up and there was no wait. I quickly moved over and sorry to say forgot to mention it to the lady behind me with the very full cart. The cashier did tell her not to put anything on the belt because her till was broken. If I wasn't so tired I might have told her to move past me to the other line but truthfully, I did not want to wait another 20 minutes. I now have all that I need for the trip and the fish won't starve. I hope all of you have a very happy and blessed Easter. I'll fill you in on my trip next week when I get back.

World Autism Awareness Day

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. It's a day where people all over the world take time out of their busy lives to focus on a cause that to many of them is all to up close and personal. There will be PSA's with celebrities and global leaders talking about awareness and donating money to help research the causes and treatments of this very heartbreaking and baffling disorder. I decided to do my part and post a blog entry. Those who know me and have followed this blog are no strangers to the fact that two of my children have diagnosis's in the umbrella of disorders known as Autism Spectrum Disorders. Matthew never met the clinical definition as having true Autism but met enough criteria to have Autism Spectrum Disorder given. Carolyn missed the ASD diagnosis by one check mark because the school felt that parallel play was still acceptable at age 3 so she got the diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified instead. It is still on the autism spectrum but not considered as severe. Both children are considered highly functional in terms of language, academic and social skills. As for Andrew..I'm not sure about him. At 18 months he failed a checklist that screens for signs of Autism and he was starting to show a few familiar signs like the delayed language and poor eye contact that the other two have but I contacted the state's Birth to 3 program and he was screened and is now working with a wonderful speech therapist. He has made huge gains and is doing things developmentally and language-wise that Matthew and Carolyn never did at his age. He will be screened just before his 3rd birthday and I will know if he is functioning at age level.

All family matters aside, I wanted to write about the bigger picture when it comes to Autism. There has been so much written about it and featured in the news and there have been certain celebrities who have come out with their personal stories about having a child with Autism. For all the information out there the fact remains that this is a very confusing and unknown disorder. No one knows why children develop it and no one knows why it runs in families, and no one knows the best way to treat it. Google the word autism and thousands of entries pop up. Try "autism cures" and even more sites come up. I will say to all of you...take what you see and read with a huge grain of salt. The truth is that this disorder affects every child differently and not every child diagnosed with Autism will function in the stereotypical way. Yes, there are treatments out there that do work but the truth of the matter is that they are very expensive and time consuming and there is no set standard on how to use them . Sadly, most major insurance companies don't cover any part of Autism treatment. There are a few states that do require the companies to make coverage available but they are the exception. For instance, my insurance company will cover the cost to take Matthew to a psychiatrist and pay for his medication but I had to pay out of pocket to cover the behavior therapy that provided the most improvement for him. I was lucky, he only needed a few hours a week. Depending of the severity of the condition, some parents spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on therapy or special schools for their children. This does not take into account those who put their child on a gluten free casein free diet in hopes that that works. My biggest wish is that enough outcry is heard and insurance companies step forward and cover the basic therapies needed such as speech therapy, physical and occupational therapy, sensory integration, applied behavioral analysis (ABA) and respite care.

I will end this post with a list of things parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders want you to know.

1. Please don't feel sorry for us. We love our children just like you do. We are no more different than those parents of children with other chronic conditions like diabetes or developmental disabilities like Down's Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.

2. Please don't pass judgement when our child acts up in a public place. Our children look just like any other child so what looks like a bratty temper tantrum could easily be a meltdown due to over stimulation or disruption in routine. We have enough to worry about without being on the receiving end of dirty looks or offhand comments about our parenting skills.

3. Please invite us and our children over for play dates. It might be a little more challenging and take more planning but we will let you know what you should do. You will also be giving your child a unique learning experience. Please don't take it personally if we turn down birthday party invitations or play dates in crowded noisy places.

4. Please teach your children to treat others with kindness and respect. Children with ASD's, especially those with Asperger's are very venerable to being picked on and teased because of their odd ways or obsessions and fixations with objects. They have enough of a hard time trying to figure out the complex social situations during the school day without the stress of being physically or mentally abused.

5. Please share with us your child's accomplishments. No, we are not going to feel bad listening to you tell us about your child's latest and greatest thing. We are all parents and discussion of our children is a given. Please be just as happy for us when we discuss our child's accomplishments or setbacks even if it doesn't sound like that much of a big deal. Don't be too surprised if we have not idea what the current watercooler topic is. Most of us don't have the extra time to devote to popular TV programs.

High School never ends

So I was listening to the radio during lunch and the song "High School Never Ends" by the group Bowling for Soup came on the radio. For those with teenagers this might be a familiar group and or song. Anyway the song is about the fact we spend four years suffering through High School with the promise that this too will pass and once we graduate then the real world will be soooo much better. Yeah Right!!!! Listen to the song and it will ring very true with 99.9% of us. The song goes on to say pretty much that everywhere you look people are acting just like they did in high school. "The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who's the best dressed and who's having sex..." Think about it, how many TV programs are devoted to style, fashion and looks?? Do I even need to proceed to the tabloid news shows and magazines??? Even reality TV ( what an oxymoron) is loaded with those special water cooler moments designed to get us gossiping and wondering what next. Now I'm not totally against the high school years, they were pretty fun times and I do have a lot of great memories. I like the song because it reminds me that as people we get stuck in a role and if we are not careful we end up playing that character for the rest of our life. When you look around do you see the class clown, jock, bully or band geek or do you see your coworker, your kid's coach, your boss, and that lady you buy the coffee from and says hi to you every morning? I'd like to say that I have moved on and I don't dwell on those things but that would be pushing the truth a little bit. No, I'm not the band geek anymore..I stopped playing flute when I graduated college and never in a million years would I have pictured myself as a housewife and stay at home mother. I'm sure if you asked any of my friends back in 1990 when we were ready to conquer the world what they would be like in 20 years they would give answers that were completely different then if you asked them that question now. Oh and for those of you readers who are over the age of 30, please listen to the song "Different World" by Bucky Coventon. I promise that those lyrics will tug at your heartstrings and bring back those fond memories of growing up along with the fervent wish that today's children could be so lucky.

Thank you for being my friend

I've been meaning to write this post for a few days now but I always seem to have more pressing things to do or the loving husband is on the computer when I have a few moments to myself to actually think and write at the same time (shocking I know). My title actually refers to the --according to all the media outlets-- huge increase in the use of Facebook by people over the age of 25. I'll admit that I'm not the most 21st Century technology person. Yes, I have an iPod (shuffle)but it is only about a year old. I have Internet access and know how to e-mail and blog but that is about as daring as I get. I can use a digital camera but if it wasn't for the loving husband putting the software on the computer then I'd be paying Walgreen's every time I wanted pictures from the camera. As for the cell phone stuff...I can make and receive calls but I have never in my life sent a text message and truthfully I have no idea how to even send one. I'm still trying to figure out why people want to watch TV shows, music videos, or movies on their phones. Isn't a phone something you use to talk to people??? Don't even get me started on the whole Twitter thing--I have much better things to do with my life then spend it typing inane trivial details of my daily actions. Tweet Tweet--I finally went pee and this time the kids didn't bother me the whole 5 minutes I was in there. Anyway, back to the Facebook thing. I was a little leery about using sites like Facebook or MySpace since it is putting information out into the big wide open where anyone and everyone could see it. Of course my overactive imagination conjured up images of creepy criminals hacking into my account and stalking me or draining my bank accounts and living in some exotic country. The fact that tons of stories exist about people posting photos or comments that eventually come back to bite them in the butt also didn't help either. However, after getting an invitation from a friend I decided to live on the edge and said "what the heck" and got an account. I will say those first few days were pretty exciting. I signed up and within a few hours I had friends. I would log on to check the e-mail and there would be a message from Facebook letting me know that I had another friend request or one of my friends had posted a comment on my wall. I decided to keep the e-mail notify option since I check e-mail at least twice a day (except weekends and holidays). As I spent more time on my Facebook page I realized why people were signing up. It was kinda fun. I could log on and in a strange way peek into the lives of people that I normally would not have daily contact with. There are some people on my friend list that I have not seen in years and there are others I see on a regular basis. Reading wall comments and other goofy things gives me a more complete picture of the person. I really like the quick bits of info about how a day went or a shout out, rant, or vent. As the weeks went by more people found me and I had more friend requests. I'm not one of those people who friends tons of individuals so I can have an impressive friends list. I'm the person who adds people I really know as a friend. I want to be able to connect with someone on more than a superficial level. I like to read the comments on the Wall and see the tests and other strange applications that others are using. However, on that note...I'm a mother of three young children who keep me very very busy and I don't have as much time to spend online as I'd like. I average about 10-15 minutes per time when I do go online to check the e-mail and read CNN and blogs. Many times I have at least one child on my lap or nearby "helping" or I've been discovered and the whole herd is now camped out into the computer room demanding my undivided attention. Or lunch or snack depending on the time of day. It is hard enough trying to get a blog post done. Those usually take about an hour or so not counting the 30 or so interruptions that occur between start and finish. Facebook can be a real time stealer. I find that I don't really have the time to do all the fun quizzes or tests or tags that are sent my way. Ditto for the myriad of requests for plants, animals, pokes, and other items that I had no idea even existed. I really do appreciate those things being sent my way but please don't take it personally(or throw things at me) if I accept without sending back or ignore the request. Now if you'll excuse me, all is quiet and I want to get a few hours of sleep. If I'm lucky, I won't have to share the bed with Andrew, get Carolyn a drink or have Matthew whisper "I peed the bed" at 4:30 in the morning.

Lost

Well Saturday started as a usual day, get up go to my Weight Watchers meeting-I lost less than a pound-go home get the rest of the family and head out to work out....etc. This Saturday we had a different instructor who usually teaches a different class so instead of a cardio box class we had no limits class. Let's just say that it is very similar except there is a lot more running involved and no bag work. Maybe I should have eaten more for breakfast...I was dying by the end. After a wonderful lunch at Royal Fork (OK, at that point I would have eaten roadkill I was so hungry) we split up and went our separate ways. Hubby wanted to check out the gun show in town and was planning on taking Matthew and Carolyn with him and Andrew and I would go home for naps. I put the bug in hubby's ear that maybe he should take the kids to the St. Patrick's parade downtown later that afternoon and he asked me if I would get the kitchen floor cleaned and I being in a good mood (and full) offered to mop the floor too. I got sleeping beauty home and put him down for nap and then procrastinated a little before starting my cleaning. I got the floor swept and mopped and then loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the counter tops a bit. I also thought I'd clean up the high chair so I could sell it back to the second hand store. Andrew had not used it in months and it was just taking up space. That required a little more work as I wanted this thing to look as new as possible so I really went to town with the cleaning and I took off the plastic cover and instead of throwing it in the wash I decided to soak it and hand wash it on the off chance that my washing machine would be too harsh and crack the vinyl. I did quite a bit of my cleaning outdoors but when it came time to hose everything off I took the high chair into the bathroom and used the shower head to really get the dirt out of the cracks and crevices. Hubby and the kids came home and we ate an early supper. A little while later I was sitting at the kitchen table and happened to look down at my hand. Something did not look right and I looked again. I don't really have words to describe what it was I felt when I realized that the diamond had somehow fallen out of my wedding set. I immediately ran outside to the loving husband and told him what happened and he dropped everything to help out. I had done quite a bit of cleaning and much of my time was spent at the kitchen sink. Hubby took apart and washed out the garbage disposer but no luck. I looked in places I had been like the back deck and the bathroom and even dug the lint out from under the lint trap to see if maybe I had lost the stone when I was changing loads of laundry. I had a moment of false hope when I found a small clear rock while dumping the van's floor mats out into the driveway. Unfortunately, it was just a large piece of rock salt. Sadly, no amount of searching turned up my diamond. Now it may seem kind of silly to feel so upset about a piece of jewelry but this is probably my most valuable non-living possession. When the loving husband was in college he worked at Kay Jewelers and that is where he got the ring. At the time he was pretty broke and spent almost all he had to get me such a nice set with an exceptional diamond in it. I have always appreciated that he cared so much for me that he would do that. The ring was a treasured item and I wore it proudly with love. Later that night as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep I started to wonder what it was about actually wearing a ring that made a marriage. I know that there are tons of married women who don't wear a ring and they are still married. Why was I feeling so unmarried without my complete wedding set? It is not the ring but the commitment behind the ring that matters but there still was a feeling of loss, like I had let the loving husband down or something. My finger felt bare and cold so I got out a ring that the loving husband had given me for one of our dating anniversaries and put that on. It is a Black Hills Gold band with three tiny diamonds in it. I guess it could pass as a wedding band so at least I look the part. Maybe it is just the selfish part of me that wants the world to know that yes, I am married, especially when I'm with the kids. I had similar worries when I was pregnant with Matthew. I didn't want people to think I was a single mother to be. Well I contacted our insurance company yesterday and the ring is covered against loss so we might be able to get some replacement money for it. Of course diamonds are still expensive to replace so I'll be wearing my Black Hills Gold ring for awhile. I've asked hubby to not get me a Mother's Day or Birthday gift so I can get a new diamond for my anniversary gift in August. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me patience and humbleness. I'm just grateful that I only lost a stone and not a family member--I can replace a diamond

Sweetless Wednesdays

Well it's Wednesday and I'm totally craving something sweet. I would kill for a piece of gum at this point. A few posts back I mentioned that for Lent I gave up eating anything sweet on Wednesdays. I decided to define "sweet" as both naturally and artificially. I do concede the sugar in things like milk or foods that have 2 or 3 grams like some cereal and sauces but have decided that fruit is a no no. I was having a conversation this morning with Andrew's speech therapist who gave up eating sweets for Lent on the difference between what I'm giving up and what he is giving up. He doesn't see a problem with naturally sweet like fruit or honey. I will admit that the natural sweet did tangle me up a bit at first but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to commit to no sweet anything. This is not to be bragging or anything, I could have easily have said no to donuts, pastry's, and various forms of candy along with my Coke and that would have been a worthy and notable thing but I would not have been challenged to really step out of my comfort zone. That along with the fact I'm already making an effort to limit those things in my daily diet as I pursue my weight loss goal. I knew deep in my heart that I could not go completely cold turkey on everything sweet and I did not want to set myself up for failure so I challenged myself to one day or five total in the Lenten Season. This is a much harder task than I thought it would be. I have a sweet tooth and it is almost second nature for me to seek out that which satisfies it. I know I have 6 days where I can eat whatever my little heart desires and I have one day where I really have to dig deep and focus on what I'm eating or not eating. I have caught myself several times absentmindedly putting food up to my mouth only to stop myself at the last moment when I realize what it is I'm doing. With Weight Watchers, I control what I eat and how much of it I eat so it is up to me to hold myself accountable. There are days when I'm really good at doing this and there are days when life interrupts and I go over points. I have also chosen at times to deliberately eat things that will put me over for the day but that is my choice and I can live with it. I know that if I do this too many times then I will not lose the weight I want to and if I really go overboard then I'll start gaining back what I've lost. If I have a "screw it" moment then it's me that I disappoint and no one else. Committing to my Lenten promise is so much different. I made a promise with God and if I have a "screw it " moment then I'm not just disappointing myself, I'm disappointing Him. I want to be able to look back and say with pride that "yes, I did it" and know He is pleased with me. When I do have my moments of weakness when my brain is in sugar mode then I remind myself what He gave up for Lent. Putting it that way makes my sweetless Wednesdays much more meaningful and accomplishable.

It's one of those days....

This is what happened when I forget to lock my baking supplies drawer. I was only downstairs for a few minutes. Carolyn and Andrew were having sooo much fun. If you are wondering what they are playing in, it is about a pound and a half of powdered sugar. Thanks to Matthew who not only did not join in but tried his hardest to help me clean things up.