V-Day

Finally, the day is almost over and this hideous horrible holiday will finally be gone. For the record, I have no horror stories in my past, no tales of love gone wrong or worthless boyfriends who have shattered my heart and left me wounded by the wayside. I have always hated this holiday. I was anti-Valentines Day waaay before it was cool to do so. Tales do exist of my creative cakes with the "die cupid die" theme...I'm not sure where the photos are though. I also want to say that I have the most wonderful loving supportive husband any woman could ever want and I thank God every night for giving him to me. He of course shares my views on this particular "lovefest". Every year I'm forced to endure endless hours of commercials telling me that in order feel special or be loved I must demand my significant other shell out megga bucks on flowers, candy, jewelry, fancy dinners, or dippy stuffed animals. My poor husband gets bombarded with these same messages telling him that if he does not go all out then he is worthless as a partner and undeserving of my love and attention. Let's get this straight, Valentines Day is an artificial holiday created by Hallmark or some other company with the express purpose of getting people (namely men) to spend money during a slow part of the year. If that wasn't enough, the message sent out is that only heterosexual couples need apply. I truly feel sorry for those who are in "nontraditional" relationships or who are between partners. If that still wasn't enough then there is the oh so popular peer pressure (read cattiness) that exists mainly between women who feel they need to measure their self worth on how much their boyfriend or husband spends on them this one day of the year. Woe be it to the poor guy if he did not mortgage the house to make sure the 2 dozen perfect[ red roses were delivered to her workplace just in time for all to see and comment. He's really in the doghouse if her girlfriends got fancy jewelry to wear out to the oh-so-expensive restaurant and she was stuck with a cheesy card and run of the mill eatery. My point is and always has been that if you love someone then you show them every day and for no other reason than because. Does my husband love me any less because he gave me flowers months ago and not today?? Is he a poor spouse or father because he cooked hamburgers for supper and we ate as a family instead of getting a babysitter and going out to a steakhouse? Should I be resentful that he chose to take Matthew and Carolyn to a movie at the $3 theatre instead of taking me to see the movie of my choice? I could write pages about all the wonderful things my loving husband does for me and the kids. Maybe it's the crappy economy or people are now starting to wake up but I have been reading a lot more articles from people urging others to skip the madness or at least tone it down. It's finally becoming more mainstream to be anti-Valentines Day. For those who love this day and all it stands for I do not mean to disrespect you or hurt your feelings. I only hope that you spend as much time and energy on your relationship the rest of the year as you do on this one day. Oh by the way I got the kids heart shaped Little Debbie cakes and left them at the table for them to discover this morning. They totally loved it. I also did something totally out of character and made hubby a coffee cake this afternoon while Andrew was napping and hubby and the kids were at the movie. I even wrote "I (heart) you" on it. Boy did I get a weird look from him when they got home. As for my "gift" today...I went out with Tobi and Shawna and had coffee at Barns and Nobles Bookstore after my Weight Watchers meeting and met him and the kids at the gym. He got all three up and fed and dressed and out the door. Now that's a gift that I'll take any day.

Food sins

Well the birthday is over..yeah!!! Matthew had a lot of fun. He got phone calls from the grandparents, e-mail from his former therapists, and a special birthday crown to wear in school. Sadly, my lifelong dream of baking cupcakes to send to school will always be unfulfilled. A few years ago the school district banned homade food items and the next year banned outside food from being distributed in the classrooms. The reasoning was that there were students with food allergies or on special diets and the food would cause a problem. The Early Childhood program can get away with some things so I was able to send oranges with Matthew last year but this year was a whole different story. Needless to say Matthew passed out pencils to all his classmates and ate the special cupcake I sent with him. I did make cupcakes later that day and he passed them out to the staff at the Wellness Center and to the students in our adult Tae Kwan Do Class. Of course all the birthday food created new challenges for me. I can resist the store bought baked goods but when I'm the one doing the baking it's just too hard not to lick the spatula or the beaters and when it's time to frost the cupcakes, how in the world does Martha Stewart do it without getting her fingers covered in the stuff??? Matthew loves Hy-Vee cakes (really just the frosting) so we went and bought a small one. He inherited my love of chocolate so of course his cake was chocolate. Poor Carolyn is not a chocophile and I had to laugh at her comment yesterday as she was eating a chocolate cupcake "It's too chocolatey" That's OK, she goes for the frosting anyway. Matthew also got to choose what he wanted for supper and first he said "something healthy" Just as I was giving myself a mental hi-five for teaching him good food choices and trying to figure out what I was going to make Matthew changed his mind and said he wanted pizza. So much for that pat on the back. We were already going to Hy-Vee for the cake so I figured I'd pick up a pizza from the deli. Papa Murphy's is across the street and they are also really good but for price you can't beat Hy-Vee. Well pizza and birthday cake aren't exactly point friendly but I knew about my evening plans well enough in advance that I was able to eat lighter for breakfast and lunch so I enjoyed an ooey gooey cheesy slice of pizza and had a small piece of cake. I found out much to my dismay on Saturday evening that when one eats a burrito at Qdoba (Mexican food) one should order it naked (without tortilla). Hubby and I had a date planned so I made sure to be good for breakfast and lunch. It was between Quiznos and Qdoba and my craving won out. I had plenty of points so as long as I ordered sensibly then no problemo. They have a killer vegetarian burrito and I actually like black beans so I was doing great. Some things are just worth the points so I skipped the guacamole but kept the light sour cream and cheese. I also had to have my Coke. Hubby and I were joking about ordering the burrito sans tortilla saying that it just wasn't right. Later that night as I "confessed" my food sins on my point tracker I learned the ugly truth about that oh so innocent looking tortilla. 20 oz of coke..5 points, beans and veggies...0 points cilantro rice....5 points (oops shoulda went light on that one), cheese and sour cream..3 points, tortilla...6 points. Yep, that's right 6 points for a seemingly small item. If I had gone naked I would have used 13 points and stayed in my goal range but one can not use 19 points on a 22 point limit and expect to stay in bounds. Good thing I did my cardio class earlier in the day. I did lose another pound last week so I finally got my 5 pound sticker. I have lost total of 6 pounds so far and it has not been easy. I really hate having to keep track of what I eat and write it all down. There are times when I really want to say "screw it" and pork out on the junk food. Sunday nights are perhaps the cruelest of them all. We usually grill that night and steak is almost always on the menu. Try only eating three ounces of fresh off the grill still steaming hot juicy steak. I have tried to not eat it and just use leftovers and make steak tacos or put it in stir fry but this upsets the husband greatly since he views my non-eating as a sin against the steak (he's right). I know all my hard work will pay off so I keep at it. A few weeks ago I put on a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in several months and they actually fit without me having to lay down to zip them up. In six months when I test for my black belt I hope to have lost my 20 extra pounds. I have 14 left to go. Now, where is that leftover birthday cake......

Happy Birthday Matthew

Wow, it's been six years already. I can still remember the day. It started out so wonderfully, took an awful turn, and then ended up even better than I could have ever imagined. After the first induction didn't take (they needed the bed so they sent me home after 7 hours of trying) and I went home feeling like a total failure ( who doesn't have a baby when they are induced?)I was looking forward to try #2. Actually I was doing just about anything to go into labor with no luck. Ten days after my due date, 8 hours and way too much pitocin later Matthew arrived via emergency C-Section. I can say with pride that I do know what hard labor feels like..I decided to do the natural thing and never progressed far enough for the epidural but instead got the off the monitor contractions 1 minute apart that about did me in (thanks pitocin) which dropped Matthew's heart rate which created a scene out of one of any given medical dramas in which the room is flooded with people and there is yelling and commotion. Because I didn't have the magic epidural I got the sleeping gas instead so my first views of the little guy were through a drug-induced haze. I laugh now but for a while I was convinced that I had given birth to the worlds ugliest baby. Thankfully the fog cleared and a few hours later when I was finally able to hold him I decided that he was indeed a beautiful baby. So much has happened since that day. I would have never guessed that by the time this child celebrated his first birthday we would move from Michigan back to South Dakota , he would soon be a big brother (4 months later), and my plans of going back to work would be put on hold for years. Fast forward to now and it still amazes me how much he has grown and matured. For those of you who are keeping track of these things..yes this is yet another Matthew post. I really do love all my children and don't play favorites . Matthew's nickname is "God's Revenge" I say that with a smile because my mother always told me that she hoped someday I would have a child just like me. Although he isn't JUST like me he does challenge me more than I would want. We have very similar personalities and he has the most uncanny ability to push every one of my buttons. It's like he has a radar and it is zeroed in on my moods. I have some very colorful stories that I share from time to time and people just shake their heads. That being said he has also taught me so much and has made me try my hardest to be the best mother to him that I can be. My road through Motherhood has hit a few rough patches and detoured in spots never expected. There really is unconditional love between a mother and a child. This bond is always under fire and tested by those unknown and unexpected outside forces. I have had many people tell me what a good mother I am and how hard it must be to have children with special needs. While it is a nice compliment, I'm not any different or better than they are. To me Matthew is normal (Carolyn too). I never saw him as different in any way and I don't see him as being different. While I would never wish Autism on any parent, having a child or children diagnosed with the disorder can be the best thing to ever happen to that bond. Yes, there is a lot of heartbreak and frustration but truth be told, some of the most loving and devoted parents I have met have been those who have children diagnosed with some sort of Autism Spectrum Disorder or any other developmental disability. As a parent, I have had to work twice as hard to get Matthew to the point where he is today. One of the greatest upsides is that I have spent so much more time with my child than I would have if he were "normal". There are days when I'm ready to sell him (and/or his siblings) on eBay and take "time outs" in my bathroom while counting to 1000 I still wouldn't trade Matthew in for all the money in the world.

Carolyn wants me to say that she is "cool" and she is looking forward to her birthday. See, I do have more than just Matthew.

Guilty pleasures and information too

My friend Jackie asked readers of her blog to list guilty pleasures when it came to music, books, and TV so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Music I'm a total music lover and will listen to almost anything. Right now I'm pretty much into Hard Rock and Death Metal--OK, not really Death Metal but there are a few groups in my iPod that push the very edge of Heavy Metal. My guilty pleasure besides cheesy love songs (think The Delilah show) is Classic Country Music. We're talking about the stuff that was popular in the 70's and 80's. Yes, I like the 90's stuff but it just isn't the same.

Books I mentioned once before on a previous post of my love of reading. I have always been a bookworm so I pretty much read anything . However, I LOVE romance novels. My preference runs to those of the historical nature. You know the ones where the women are all drop dead gorgeous and headstrong and the men are all chiseled rock hard muscle and demanding. Inset desired time period (Viking, Medieval, Renaissance, Regency....) and use phrases like "throbbing with desire and presto, instant smut. There is nothing like a good bodice ripper to get me all warm and tingly. Men have their Penthouse Letters and we have our romance novels.

TV This one was a little more tricky since I really don't have the time to invest in a show or shows but I have found two that I do enjoy watching and thank goodness USA Network, FOX, and WGN show syndicated re-runs in the later hours or else my list would be even shorter. My cheesy guilty show is "Scrubs" I started watching it about a year or so ago when a re-run was on during a time I was able to watch. I like the quirky characters and outrageous daydream sequences. The writing is awesome because no matter how offbeat things get, they always manage to tie everything in and it all makes sense. My drama show guilty pleasure is 'House" Yes it's another medical show but this one is so very different. I just love a main character who is a grouchy, nasty, mean SOB to his staff and everyone around him. The really strange and weird cases they use also keep me hooked. Too bad this series didn't win an Emmy or Golden Globe this year. Second runner up is "NCIS" but I very rarely get to watch it since even the re-runs are on at a bad time.

And for the information part of my post......
I thought I'd give you all one of my favorite quickie breakfast recipes. It is worth 5 points on Weight Watchers so I can enjoy whenever I want.

2 minute Breakfast Sandwich
1 egg 1 Tbs water
1 lite English muffin 1 slice fat free American cheese
1 slice 96% fat free ham cut into 2 pieces

Spray a microwave safe bowl with non-stick spray and add egg and water.
Scramble egg lightly, cover and microwave for 2 minutes on high
While egg is cooking toast English muffin on lightest setting
When egg and muffin have finished cooking, assemble the sandwich accordingly
Best way--ham, cheese, egg, ham

You can also make this on a weekend and cook the egg over hard and fry the ham. It does taste a little better but if it's speed you want then go with this. Happy eating.

Finally...I have joined Facebook. I still want to say that 99% of my time will be devoted to this blog. If you want to join as a friend or invite me onto your site then feel free to do so.

Oh happy day!!!

This morning I had Matthew's IEP meeting. For those not familiar with the term it stands for Individual Educational Plan. Students receiving Special Education services are required to have one and they are updated every year before the child's birthday. Matthew's birthday is next Tuesday so this meeting discussed the goals he had last year and how well he accomplished them and what goals they want to have in place for next year. It gets kind of confusing when the plan covers two different school years but after a while you get used to it. Last year he was in the Early Childhood program at a different school with different teachers and the IEP was amended slightly when he transitioned into Kindergarten. A special meeting was held last April for that purpose. I was in the hospital recovering from appendix surgery so I was unable to make that meeting but thankfully the loving husband stepped in and took over. Matthew has been making steady progress over the past three years and during the time over in the EC program he really started to develop needed skills. It was still a pretty rocky few years behavior wise. Some of the first meetings that I attended both for IEP and when he underwent the Autism testing were not very positive in terms of what was going on with Matthew. This is not to say he was a bad student or difficult behavior problem. As a parent I see my child in a whole different enviroment and have my own expectations and opinions of him. The school looks at him in terms of goals and academic standards. When he started school at 3 (three days after his 3rd b-day) he had a limited vocabulary and language skills, poor gross motor skills, poor fine motor skills, and poor social/behavioral skills. He had made a lot of improvement in the 6 months we used the Birth to 3 program and had a speech therapist and early childhood teacher come to the house and work with him. It was actually the early ed teacher who pointed out to me that Matthew should have a full evaluation and not just a language evaluation by the school district when he aged out of the Birth to 3 program. I still remember the feelings of dismay and disappointment I felt as I sat there through those meetings and saw in writing and heard from the professionals all the things Matthew was not able to do or could do with great difficulty. There was never a shortage of goals to work on. I won't even go into the really horrible meeting two years ago just before Matthew turned 4 when I got the results of the Autism testing. I was seeing improvement but there was still so much this kid needed to do. I was very worried that he might not get to mainstream into Kindergarten. Even last year was difficult in the beginning. The teacher was very concerned that Matthew's classroom behaviors were so out of control that even with an aid he would not really do well in a mainstream classroom. After putting him on medication (yes, it does work if used correctly and for the right reasons) and investing time and money into extra therapy we saw a big turn around in Matthew. He started this year with a few small problems and conferences didn't go too badly. We received glowing reports from his teachers and his behavior at home also improved. Last week I got a call from Matthew's Physical Therapist telling me that Matthew had met all of the goals on the IEP and had been doing so well that she didn't feel the need to continue the therapy after this year. She would still act as a consultant if needed and he still gets adaptive PE . This morning I sat there and the teachers and professionals at the table just couldn't say enough nice things about Matthew. His teacher really liked having him in class and the aid said she hardly needed to do much with him in terms of behavior or getting work done. Everyone reported that Matthew got along very well with his classmates and interacted appropriately in class and at recess. He was able to have conversations back and forth with them and even had a "girlfriend". They actually had to struggle to come up with a social skills goal. There were still things that Matthew needed to work on so he still has speech and occupational therapy goals. He will still get the Autism consultant. The difference will be that next year she will come into the classroom and work with him instead of me taking him to her office. We decided to try next year without the aid to see if Matthew could handle the classroom by himself and he will ride the bus instead of having transportation provided by the district. I left the meeting felling better than I had in years. Part of me still can't believe that Matthew has made so much progress. It will probably hit me next fall as I try and get Mr. Crabby out of bed and off to meet the bus that I will have a "normal" elementary child. I'm so happy!!!!

"Super" weekend

Well it's Monday and the groundhog saw his shadow. I guess those two things go hand in hand. I'm not sure I really want six more weeks of Winter, I'm in a Spring kind of mind. As we all know there was a really big football game on last night. I do admit to being a football fan so of course I had to watch. The fun thing about not having your preferred team playing in the game is that you can watch the action and not be obsessed with one side winning. As a long suffering Minnesota Vikings fan I'm convinced that my great grandchildren will get to see them play in their next Superbowl so I suppose that makes me an optimist. However, I do like the Steelers rs and think they have a really cute quarterback so it was nice to see them win. I also have a soft spot for the Cardinals, I do so love an underdog and they really were the doormat of the league this year. The game was really good and I was pacing all over the place the last two minutes of the game. I really need to control my language since my "Holy @#$%" comment on the last touchdown made Carolyn ask me what that meant. And yes she repeated the phrase word for word. Commercial wise it wasn't too bad. We all had our 3-D glasses on and watched the special commercials at the end of the 1st half. I really liked the SOBE dancing lizards. I was a little surprised that the only car commercials I saw were for the foreign made ones but I should be glad the Big 3 chose to not spend their money on expensive commercials. Somehow I missed the Coke Zero commercial and had to watch it this morning. Saturday was really busy. I decided to go to my Weight Watchers meeting at 8. I think I'll keep that time. It made it a lot easier to make the aerobics class with hubby. As I mentioned in my last post I lost another pound last week. I was hoping for another 3 but at least I lost something. I really wanted to get my 5 pound sticker but I should get it this next Saturday. After my meeting was over I drove of to the Holiday Inn downtown. I wanted to attend a pre-legislative coffee meeting. As everyone knows the economy really stinks and states are having to really cut back on services or eliminate spending on different programs. Last week the Governor announced major budget cuts for this next fiscal year. Among the cuts was the Birth to 3 program. This is the program that provides services for children who are born with or are diagnosed with developmental or cognative disabilities. The proposal would eliminate the program and the two million dollars that go with it. Matthew and Carolyn both used this program with amazing success and Andrew currently receives services. A non-profit group had formed and gotten a meeting time set up with several legislators in the hope that at least 100 people would show up and let these people know how important this program is. Over 300 parents and professionals showed up. I didn't get a chance to speak with my district representative as I was sitting on the wrong side of the room and she left to go across the hall to the legislative coffee before I could get over there. I did talk to another representative who represented the East Side of Sioux Falls so I was close. For those loyal readers who live in SD. I would like to ask you to please drop a line to your rep and let him or her know how important this program is. The money that is spent on the really young children to correct problems will be saved sevenfold when these children don't require or require fewer special education services in grades K-12. It's around $2000 per year per child for Birth to 3 and around $8000 per year per child for special education services. Here are two websites to use. www.legis.state.sd.us/ and www.sd.gov/ The first one take you to the legislature website and you can e-mail your representative. The second site is the state of South Dakota and on the left hand side is link to the governor's website and you can e-mail him. Those loyal readers who do not live in SD but want to help are more than welcome to drop him a line. Before I go I do want to say thank you to all of you who do take the time to read my posts. I really appreciate it.

7 Favorite Foods

My friend Jackie put forth a challenge on her blog to list seven foods that were worth breaking a diet for. Since I'm doing Weight Watchers and have been making those hard food choices for the past two weeks I figured this would be a perfect list to make. By the way I've lost just under 5 pounds--note to self make sure hair is dry before going to the meeting and weighing in. I also want to point out that my list of 7 is quite similar to hers. I guess great minds think alike!!

1. Chocolate covered creme filled donuts. I'll eat either the Bavarian Creme or the Whipped Cream version but I prefer the whipped cream filling. One donut is worth 8 points in Weight Watchers but half a donut is only worth 4 and a quarter of that is only 2 points...if you get my drift.

2. Chocolate I LOVE chocolate. I'll eat pretty much anything chocolate, chocolate coated or chocolate filled. Of course when one is trying to eliminate excess weight then it becomes important to pare down the list of chocolate to that which is truly worthy of eating. I prefer dark chocolate and love DOVE squares. I also have found that Weight Watchers makes a little chocolate cake that is only 1 point. Too bad it isn't creme filled.

3. Coca Cola This is one of my all time faves. Once again it has become important for me to justify my consumption of said beverage but thankfully they now make these really cute little 8 oz cans. My love of the fountain stuff will always remain true. Yes, Jackie I have a weakness for the McDonald's version. And speaking of that...

4. McDonald's French Fries I too am a slave to those piping hot crunchy grease sticks. I can eat them without ketchup. Sheer willpower stops me from consuming the whole package when I buy them for the kids.

5. Taco John's The loving husband calls this his "crack" and I too am addicted to the "West Mex" . I totally love their crunchy tacos and Potato Oles top french Fries any day of the week. When I was pregnant with Andrew, I craved Taco John's so much that hubby's co-workers started making jokes about the paternity of my child.

6. Juicy Steak I have married the world's best griller when it comes to the steak experience. That man can take just about any cut of beef and cook it to restaurant perfection. Carolyn is the resident carnivore and is always asking for "juicy steak". Unfortunately, it is high in points so I'm forced to do the recommended 3 oz when I eat it. Hubby also does some killer grilled mushrooms.

7. Cinnamon Rolls I'm not sure if it is the smell or the icing that turns me on so much but there is something about that ooey gooey soft warm pastry that gets me. I can walk by the Cinnabon store in the mall and I can pass up the rolls for the most part when I'm grocery shopping but every once in a while I have to have one.

Well there you have it. I'm off to go swimming. All this talk of food had made me hungry so I'd better get out of the house before I do damage.